I would just like to know where to post a poem i have with me. I see that the "submit writings" feture on the homepage is mostly for stories and articles. I want to post a poem by a friend of mine. I think it is a good piece of writing and i think he has talent. Byt whenever i try to tell him this he just jokes and changes the subject, or ignores me. Where can i post this or can i use the message board to post it and ask for your comments on it? Please be honest, this is not a joke.
You can post it in these Boardania forums if you like? Edit: crossposted with EM, of course there's nothing wrong with using the submit writing either, make sure you give credit to the author though.
OK then, here goes. UNKNOWN Were I but a tear on thy cheek, I would fall just to carress Thy supple beauty. To feel thy Splendor, o it doth surpass my Thoughts… To match you an angel Would try, and in the trying, fail. Even thy chastity doth not deter my passions, but rather enflame them like wildfire. The lust after such beauty no Mortal man can contain within Himself. For he, but an empty vessel compared to thee, would gladly sell his soul to just tast thy lips. The writer is a one A Willemse from Wanhuiskraans in South Africa. The poem is not finished, as you can see. Plz give your comments freely.
And the funniest part: he was writing it while he was writing his maths test to get entrance to the exam in the end of the year. He diidnt do too well, but i don't blame him, seeing as over 65% of the class failed the test, allmost 300 in total! Maths 144 is probably THEE mos difficult single subject in this university!
It's a nice little piece. Reminds me of Marvell. The use of enjambment is effective, it doesn't annoy me here and I usually don't like to see them in poems. I like the structure in the message. The images remind me of other poets too much, especially combined with the use of the archaic register that fits them. I'd advise your friend to read Marvell, Donne and Shakespeare's sonnets and to keep writing. Also, he might want to explore the concept of meter. The potential is there, I think he needs to find to his own voice though.
