The AM Debating Club, session one: "Leshp is ours!&quot

Discussion in 'THE WATCH BOOKS' started by Hsing, Mar 27, 2006.

  1. Hsing Moderator

    [b:3397b99a0e]Before you post on this thread, kindly read this thread.
    Kindly be aware that this is a Roleplay thread, in a way, and doesn't necessarily reflect the actual opinion of the posters. Anyone who has not been added to a delegation by me, is part of the audience, and may under certain circumstances make the equivalent to an interjection - no longer than one short sentence, and only if it is really funny or intelligent.[/b:3397b99a0e]
  2. Hsing Moderator

    The moderator took a hand bell from one of the small desk stands on stage and rung it - it was astonishingly loud - until the crowd dimmed their noises and went relatively quiet. The small, thin man was more nervous than normally, quite in relation to the audience being a lot bigger than it had been in recent months, or even years. [i:b3daca89f0]As someone engaged in a debating club, I shouldn't be so nervous when having to speak in front of a crowd[/i:b3daca89f0], he thought. [i:b3daca89f0]Maybe after all choosing such a controversial issue was not such a good idea.[/i:b3daca89f0] He was grateful the club's treasurer had brought his golem along...

    "Dear audience.. and dear participants..." -he nodded to two small groups at the left and right side of the stage-
    "...thank you all for your interest. Tonight, two delegations, each six men - or women- strong will deabte over the fate of ... Leshp, the island that has recently returned to the sea's surface and is now the reason for so much ill feelings.


    As we all know, the outcome of this deabte will have no actual influence on the political business at all; still, giving a good example how issues could be cleared by rethorical means alone can be no mistke, can it?

    We start out with each of the delegations, one acting for Ankh Morpork, one for Klatch, claiming the island for their state.

    Lets see where we get from there.

    The lots have been drawn, and it has been decided that the Ankh Morporkian delegation is to give the entry statement.

    Participants, go ahead. :)"
  3. Victimov8 New Member

    First speaker - Victim of Fate: Dis Hon A-M south

    Leshp - is an important and historical part of Ankh-Morpork.Throughout its history it has belonged to us.
    For those people with any doubts - consider these small facts:
    The foundations - obviously Morporkian, as solid as the day they were laid. True workmanship!
    The wonderful aroma - reminiscent of the Ankh at it's best

    No one else has our level of engineering excellence and skills
    It is beyond my reasoning that anyone could falsely claim these lands as their own.
  4. Electric_Man Templar

    "In addition to the excellent points my colleague has made, I, Lord Electric..."

    [size=9:6c9e6910d5]"You're not a Lord, you're a mister!"[/size:6c9e6910d5] cried a heckler

    "... of Man..."

    [size=9:6c9e6910d5]"That's your house's name!"[/size:6c9e6910d5]

    "... have personally studied the records..." he persisted

    [size=9:6c9e6910d5]"Read in the paper, you mean!"[/size:6c9e6910d5]

    [i:6c9e6910d5]"Will you be quiet dear!"[/i:6c9e6910d5] hissed Mr Electric of Man, "Well, as I'm sure most of you have read, Ankh-Morpork owned Leshp last time it surfaced. We have not acceded the rights to anyone else, least of all any Johnny Foreigners, therefore it is still our legal property."
  5. Hsing Moderator

    There was applause rising, but before it really manifestated, the moderator interrupted:
    "The Klatchian party, your response, please?"
  6. Maljonic Administrator

    "Before the smelly feet put their two shekles in, I should point out that AM is the only city on the Disc that comes near to having the sofistikation to be able to maintain such a treasure, by which I mean a dusty old rock with no financial interest whatsoever." The powerful and somewhat handsome figure announced from the back.
  7. drunkymonkey New Member

    "Well, personally, I don't think the place is worth it," exclaimed a man that looked suscpiously like a Klatchian, "It seems to run down, and there's no soveneir shops there. It'll just get a lot of people violently killed I think. And it's boring!"
  8. Hsing Moderator

    The moderator shot an accusing look at the second to last speaker.

    "Sir, if I may quote myself, and the Club's guiding Rules For Debate:
    [quote:69edc2740f]The rules are pretty much the same as set in the Code of Conduct. Also, it should be an excahnge of arguments, that's why I'd like to limit the answers from one party to two, and then wait until the other party has posted at least one answer. [/quote:69edc2740f]

    Your contribution has to be counted as an interjection. And if we gave points for interjections, the audience would win every debate."

    Then he gave a slightly puzzled look at the last speaker.
    [i:69edc2740f]There is no point in debating if one delegation doesn't care instead of defending their ground. So to speak. But it could be tactics of course.
    Still, the mentioning of souvenir shops makes me thing he's from Ankh Morpork, not from Klatch...[/i:69edc2740f]
  9. DeWorde New Member

    Rising to his feet to defend the glorious empire of Klatch Tribal Lord, Goob Aloo of the Al-Ka-Lytes:
    "In the name of the Gods why must we even entertain negotiations with these sausage eating madmen?! Leshp was eminent domain of the Klatchian empire a thousand years before Ankh Morpork even exsisted!
    They say about their technology and arcitechture and how advanced they are.This from a City State who make curry using something called CURRY POWDER?Who dare to defile the good name of the sovereign air of our land by comparing it with the decadent and gods awful stench of that city of madmen?Who wouldn't even know how to serve a decent sheeps eyeball-just-like-mother-used-to-gouge-innit-mate?My good sirs I will defy ankh morporks threats of sovereignty with my very blood...or the very least a strong letter to the Klatchian Times Al Khali Edition.....!!!
    Although isn't the beknighted land of Leshp still at the bottom of the Circle Sea/ :?
  10. Hsing Moderator

    Although isn't the beknighted land of Leshp still at the bottom of the Circle Sea/ :?[/quote:e6fac3bd79]

    OOC: Lets just imagine that this discussion takes place right after its rising, pretty much at the beginning of "Jingo".
  11. Victimov8 New Member

    OOC: I hoped that would be the case, otherwise I'd be feeling pretty darn daft about now!
  12. Hsing Moderator

    "Now that the initial points have been summed up... let the debate begin! It is again the turn of the Ankh-Morporkian delegation!"
  13. Maljonic Administrator

    "Right, I'll try again, not used to taking turns." The strikingly handsome man pouted, then tripped over his own feet but came grumbling back up with drunken poise, "The Klathchens are just too stupid to govern such an.. unimportant bit of land. We Ankh-Morporkians are the only choice, left to them it will sink back into the sea."
  14. DeWorde New Member

    Goob Aloo of the Al-Ki-Lites must respond to the previous speakers comment:
    "How dare the honourable representative from Ankh Morpork make such a remark!Our nation of Klatch has given the Disc innumerable scientific advances and our greatest minds of mathematics,alchemy and thaumotology are at work as we speak to combat such an unlikely event as the Klatchian sovereign Isle Of Leshp disappearing under the Circle Sea again.Records of the disappearance/reappearance of Leshp dating back centuries in Klatchian archives indicate that there must come a time when the islands stability will reach a failsafe mark and, in the name of friendship and the spirit of national kinship, in an attempt to defuse this already highly volatile political situation I offer this quote from our most noted scientific minds:
    "Considering the circumstances surrounding the resurfacing of the island of Leshp,positioning of the stars,thaumic disc radiation levels and the market price of the Wahooni fruit we calculate the chances of its disppearance in the next 1000 years are exactly a million to one".
    So ,sirs,the Ankh Morpork speakers insinuation that the island will submerge again is utterly preposterous and shows exactly what credulous and uninformed individuals Morporkians are when it comes to knowledge of their alleged new land!
    Indeed under Klatchian rule the Isle of Leshp will remain an oasis of beatific calm instead of the potential disaster in waiting that will doubtless befall it should the grasping,corrupt hands of Ankh Morpork claim it as their own.The lands historical buildings will no doubt be taken over by tawdry,licentious souvenir stalls,24 hour rat paella restaurants and abominable clubs serving cheap alcohol to revellers non stop.Dear Gods sirs can you think of anything worse to befall such a beautiful,historic isle?!
  15. Guest Guest

    Lady Whiplash for the AM north and shades now stands to put her view.

    "Something worse to befall the beautiful land i heard my not so learned friend ask!

    Hell yes.....For it to fall into the hands of Klatchian dogs and not to be able to live as it should in its full splender as it does under AM rule.

    It is sure to retract back to the depths from whence it came but until then the island deserves better treatment and an injection of life. Life means enjoyment, happiness and above all as many Rat Restaurants as possible (just in case there are any Klatchians out there that don't understand the meaning of the word, and i suspect there are a fair few of those)"
  16. spiky Bar Wench

    " I, Abu Daba Dub, the much honourable representative of the Guild of Fishers, corner of Roti and Canai Streets Gebra, wish to argue that the island of Leshp falls into Klathian fishing territory and as such should also be considered part of Klatchian territorial waters.

    The Morporkians cannot make such claims to having a fishing fleet, Solid Jackson, is not a fleet. Although his garlic breath and wahooni odour often preclude anyone fishing in his territory. Ankh-Morpork's claim on Leshp lacks any economic basis, they wish to have to make war. Klath merely requires Leshp to make fish. The economic imperitive of free trade and maintaining existing wealth generation of the Klatchian people must outweigh any claim based merely on military goals.
  17. Victimov8 New Member

    My distinguished colleagues, Ankh-Morpork has no wish to make war over the Isle of Leshp, why should we wish to fight over the fatuous claims of Klatch, one of whose representatives knows so much about the fishing trade that they believe fish grow on Islands, and not, as most people seem aware, in the sea.
    Should we surrender this Isle to such people? The same people whose main contribution to mathematics has been nothing?

    I ask you, ladies and gentlemen - should this historic park of A-M be entrusted, even on a temporary basis to such people?

    Obviously the fishing industry is necessary to both countries, after all man cannot live on Sheep's Eyeballs alone!
    <sotto voce> blooming heathens </sv>
  18. lord_vimes001 New Member

    One Dollar!! One Dollar!! [b:36bff79509]No Way Johnny K [/b:36bff79509] ribbons bows commerative coins!! A portion of each sale donated to RTR Foundation [Raise the Regiments], CMOT Dribbler, President. One Dollar!!! One Dollar!!!
  19. lord_vimes001 New Member

    Send Mrs Cake! Madame Gateau! Send Mrs Cake to Klatchia!
  20. Hsing Moderator

    The moderator tried to manage a fierce look, an effort which resulted in an unhappy and sourly, but not very determined expression. "Please! Tone down right now, Mister, or you'll not be allowed to sell during our meetings again! This house is private property, and ... Oh, well.
    Each party, two more statements are allowed, and then we'll see who scored, so to say, on the debate... The jury will pass their statement after a few minutes break, and then we can start another debate, right? Thanks."
  21. Victimov8 New Member

    <Out of Character> Is anyone going to respond?</OOC>
  22. Hsing Moderator

    If not, I'm just going to finish this tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. :)
  23. Maljonic Administrator

    Then the case will be settled, the island is ours to reap the rewards and plunder its resour... I mean ours to take care of in a manner that befits such an important slice of local history.
  24. Katcal I Aten't French !

    <OOC> Sorry, I completely flunked this :( I always seem to either not have time or not have the brains to think up a decend comment</OOC>
  25. Victimov8 New Member

    [quote:50630d0a26="Katcal"]<OOC> Sorry, I completely flunked this :( I always seem to either not have time or not have the brains to think up a decend comment</OOC>[/quote:50630d0a26]

    <OOC> It can be a bit of a bugger - what happened to your team mates? </OOC>

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