Discussion in 'MORE TERRY PRATCHETT NOVELS' started by Katcal, Dec 21, 2005.
today I'm Unlimited internet time
Today I am the aggreivating neighbour who plays with the new puppy that can still wriggle through the rails in the fence.
today i am "weeds that keep growing back even when you yell at them and take the tiller to them."
Today I am Being Fired.
My biker name is "people who ruin the endings of movies, tv shows and books for you."
I know a guy who's ruined the ending of 3 books for me, and another who's ruined two movies.
At the end of Titanic, the boat sinks.
I think I'm Registering-That-A-Door-Is-Marked-Pull-Yet-Inexplicably-Deciding-To-Push-On-It.
The Mistress of Mindless and Useless Knowledge
nice one Mina !
I think today I will be (and have been for the last 4 months) People Who Long Outstay Their Welcome And Just Won't Go Away.
Although I could be known as People Who Are Too Feeble To Ask Unwanted Squatters To Leave Their Home.
I'll be: No jobs in Scotland for Technical Authors(apparently).
Kat : hope you resolve that situation soon - I've been there and it's a nightmare.
Process for removal of unwanted guests:
1. Wait till guest goes to the shops/pub.
2. Deposit all guests gear on pavement outside.
3. Change locks.
4. Never open door or answer telephone ever ever again.
1. Buy baseball bat or any particular weapon of choice.
2. Smile distantly when cleaning said weapon in front of guest.
3. Develop facial tick and say '...As the dark one commands' after every sentence.
4. Start building a 'Patio'.
Thanks Randy, I have ben dreaming alternatively of both those solutions for a while, being on the 5th floor, it's pretty hard to find somewhere to dispose conveniently of bodyparts, so that kindof rules 2 out... 1 may still be applied if aforesaid squatter doesn't move his hairy butt off our couch very soon.
Tell the squatter you're moving to ::insert faraway place here::, to take care of a distant relative. Start packing conspicuously, all the while insisting that, if it were up to you, the said squatter could squat with you indefinitely, but things being as they are, etc.etc. Throw a going-away party, if necessary. The distant relative can then miraculously get better overnight (and call you to ask not to trouble yourself with moving), as soon as the squatter's hairy butt is safely out the door!
For the next month I am Uni Assignments That Are Physically Impossible To Complete Before The Dates They Are Due.
In which case, maybe I'll be French-Tutorials-In-Which-It-Is-Forbidden-To-Speak-In-French! :surprised: Ughhhhh!
The best ways to remove unwanted guests.
1. Come home in tears and tell them you have contracted an extremely nasty and contagious disease.
2. Arrange with a gay friend to move in and keep making passes at them.
3. Tell them to get out.
If these don't work (or you can't bring yourself to try them) invite them to meet you at the most expensive restaurant you know and move while they are out.
Forgot to say, I'd like to be 'Drivers who shouldn't be on the road'.
today i'm 'assholes in middle-management that think they are actually God'
yep, it's one of them days again
I will be International Moving for quite some time I think...
I'm going to be "Companies who interview you but don't bother getting back to you".
Spyware and Viruses that destroy Ethernet access to the web and make the computer crash while antispyware is running, just when the internet access was established
for a few days (hopefully a few days only)
Hormone Fluctuations aka Moody Bitch
You took mine!! Instead, I'll just be "Formatting an overly-complicated and unnecessary org chart in PowerPoint." Just as evil as war, famine and pestilence rolled into one.
Today I shall be "the noise a metal dustbin lid makes when it falls off at 3 in the morning" :wink:
Today I am "Brandy Hangover".
I'm Nurse Phlegm today
Today for me I feel that 'blow whole house electrics by switching light on' suits best.
I have been and will be for while "Divorce when you have a toddler"
Has "prime ministers who don't acctually been elected" been taken? Or how about "Girlfriends who always nick the feckin' duvet"?
P.S I love her dearly and hope she never reads this
I am Slow Computers.
Today I am (and have been for 4 weeks):
Slippery Thongs* And Rain On Stairs Causing Foot Injury
Glad you put in the asterick, I wasn't thinking of footwear.
I am She who will walk alone in the woods at night and yet freaks out upon hearing that damn door sound AOL IM makes when a friend logs on.
Separate names with a comma.