Monkeys, Monkeys ,MONKEYS!

Discussion in 'BOARDANIA' started by Rincewind, Aug 27, 2005.

  1. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    I went to the zoo today.

    It was the best thing ever.

    I seen monkeys. God, so many monkeys.

    Little ones. In the monkey walk through! No cages- the monkeys came so close! There was only a little rope (and a watchfull Zooman to put a stop to any monkey stealing plans!) They fucking rocked. They where called squirrel monkeys.

    And there was this other monkey, that was reaching threw the bars trying to get leaves of a near by bush, then a bigger monkey came and chasted him away!

    God, how i Laughed!

    There was also Penguins!

    and I think that both Giraffes and Elefhant shrews are aliens from a different planet!


  2. Garner Great God and Founding Father

    Monkey! Penguin! Elephant!

    QUICKLY! to the gene splicing chamber! we must create.... the perfect creature!
  3. fairyliquid New Member

    did you get bob's shoe back? or were there no baboons :(
  4. Andalusian New Member

    I like the Mountain Goats at the zoo best. They are sort of like monkeys, except that they are goats.
  5. Toaf New Member

    Oh, I went to the monkey walkthrough in london zoo! It rocked! My friend got to hold a monkey. :doubt:
  6. Rincewind Number One Doorman

  7. Toaf New Member

    Wild goats ate my washing in Mallorca.
  8. Rincewind Number One Doorman


    I wanted to hold a monkey! why did (s)he get to hold one!

  9. Orrdos God

    Last time i was at the zoo, I saw a monkey... pleasuring itself.
  10. Toaf New Member

    She knew the keeper person! :evil:
  11. Dane New Member

    Last time i went to the zoo I saw loads of monkeys! :D

    the one i remember had a giant ass! it had got an infection causing it to swell! OOOh it was disgusting and funny at the same time. :D
  12. drunkymonkey New Member

    the monkeys I saw at a zoo tore car window wipers off.
    and as I am so good, I don't need to be caged up in a zoo.
  13. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    Those monkeys i saw where wicked. I loved them.
  14. sampanna New Member

    Just don't drive through the monkey enclosure playing Jerry Goldsmith music.
  15. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    Edit: Dang it! My images didn't work! I'll just upload them to my album instead. Look in my album for some cute monkey pictures!
  16. Toaf New Member

    All I see is three little red boxes. :(
  17. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    Yeah, I edited the post. The pictures are in my album.
  18. Delphine New Member

    <takes deep breath>


    Those monkeys are SO CUTE! Oh, they are ad-or-a-ble. Tiny little monkeys. How sweet!

    <eyes turn into heart>
  19. chrisjordan New Member

  20. TamyraMcG Active Member

    I knew monkeys come in pretty small sizes but I didn't know they were that small. They are pretty darned cute :)
  21. Kat_in_the_Hat New Member

    There are lions and roaring tigers,
    and enormous camels and things,
    There are biffalo-buffalo-bisons,
    and a great big bear with wings.
    There's a sort of a tiny potamus,
    and a tiny nosserus too -
    But I gave buns to the elephant
    when I went down to the Zoo!

    There are badgers and bidgers and bodgers,
    and a Super-in-tendent's House,
    There are masses of goats, and a Polar,
    and different kinds of mouse,
    And I think there's a sort of a something
    which is called a wallaboo -
    But I gave buns to the elephant
    when I went down to the Zoo!

    If you try to talk to the bison,
    he never quite understands;
    You can't shake hands with a mingo -
    he doesn't like shaking hands.
    And lions and roaring tigers
    hate saying, "How do you do?" -
    But I give buns to the elephant
    when I go down to the Zoo!
    ~ A. A. Milne

    sorry Rinso...but you reminded me of this :) just substitute 'monkeys' for elephants

    Edit to add: what kind of monkeys are those? They're cute! :)
  22. spiky Bar Wench

    I hate fucking monkeys! Let me qualify: I hate fucking Macaque monkeys! Shittiest monkey ever. They're the ones that swarm into thousands and attack humans (me) for their cameras thinking its food.

    Probiscus monkeys are the best... orang belanda (Dutch man in Bahasa, note the big nose and orange hair :eek: and in this picture for some reason a big red willy )

  23. sleepy_sarge New Member

    Oh that's what it is! I was wondering if it was Bob's little red shoe for a moment.
  24. Garner Great God and Founding Father

  25. Ba Lord of the Pies

    Ba does not encourage anyone to paint a picture of that monkey on the wall of Garner's temple. Indeed not.
  26. Rincewind Number One Doorman


    The photographs i put into to get developed where all empty! i think the camera is buggered. No monkey pictures for me!

    :( :( :(
  27. sleepy_sarge New Member

    Aww man!! That's terrible - bad luck indeed.

    Maybe time to go digital eh?
  28. Rincewind Number One Doorman

    stupid camera. digital cost money. maybe i'll shun them all and just draw pictures.

  29. colonesque10 New Member

    Probably the last time a monkey went the zoo it saw Rinso pleasuring himself.

    Zoo's rock! I think Giraffes are the best zoo animal, with badgers obviously being the best overall animal. The giraffe from Madagascar is cool. I once had an ornament of a giraffe, don't know what happened to it. Also with my extendable neck I think I am a lot like a giraffe. :)

    Bad luck with the pictures man, but i'm sure if you scour the net you can find pictures of monkeys bottoms somewhere.
  30. spiky Bar Wench

    Sorry Clay,

    I didn't even notice it until I previewed the picture before posting, I then went back to the message and added the bit about the willy. I just chose it cos it was the first google result to include the entire body, its just my luck that it also includes so much of the body...
  31. Buzzfloyd Spelling Bee

    Kat, I love that poem! Mainly because I love elephants. :)

    Also, proboscis monkeys do indeed rock!
  32. queenynci New Member

    I caught part of a programme about a safari park one day last week.
    Ithink it was Longleat, but i'm not sure. Anyway, the presenters and one of the keepers were walking round the monkey enclosure picking up bits of cars that the monkeys had nicked ,hub caps, wing mirrors, etc.
    When asked what the strangest thing he'd found was, the keeper replied
    'a whole vinyl roof!'.
    Apparantly the little darlings had just peeled the whole thing off as the car went through!
    my theory is they are building a car bit by bit!
  33. Delphine New Member

    Spiky's monkey there is... not so cute. :shock:

    He's a cool looking dude though, with his big nose and alarmingly scarlet genitals. Modest chap.
  34. redneck New Member

    I was reading this thread yesterday, when my mom happened to be passing by and glanced at the screen. "What's that?" she asked. "A probiscus monkey," I replied. My two nieces were in the room as well. I was going on to tell her about the big shnoz when she asks, "No, what's that between it's hands?" That was when I happened to notice it's little willy alertly looking out the screen. "Uh... I don't know, but look at what Rinso wrote about Kenny."

    I love my mom to death, but she's quite dense some times. She's where I get my gullibility from. I'm not as bad as her about it, though. She's pretty bad off.
  35. QuothTheRaven New Member

    Disterbing imagages.
    (but rinso would be far more disturbing than a monkey.)
  36. spiky Bar Wench

    Look I've already apologised for the proboscis willy picture but it isn't holding anything between its hands except branches... Maybe your mum was more confused than you first thought? Or did she mean legs?

    Nothing wrong with gullible. You won't find it in the dictionary thats for sure!!
  37. redneck New Member

    Yes it is. See it's right... hold on a minute.

    Damn fell for it again.
  38. Bob New Member

    Did anyone in the UK watch that "The truth about female desire" on C4 ?
    It was OK, interesting findings but at one stage they showed the women lots of monkeys bumming each other in various (all-too-human) ways.. It was really disturbing, but more disturbing was that the tests showed the (human) women were getting off on it... Eeewwww...

    No scarily scarlet willies in the program though.

  39. Hsing Moderator

    I suppose there must be a reason for the discovery channel being so popular.

    The last time we were in the zoo, there was a huge crowd around a cage with young monkeys, very playful, and they came really close - as did the people on the other side of the fence. They did step back when one of the monkeys started scratching himself so furiously that douzens of fleas were hurled into the audience.
  40. chrisjordan New Member

  41. spiky Bar Wench

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