Discworld and Member Articles
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Written by TheJackal
Tuesday, 30 August 2005 |
Troy lowered his crossbow. ‘Damn.’
‘We can’t let him get away,’ said Gee, turning towards Troy.
‘I know, and we won’t. He’s bleeding heavily. We’ll be able to follow the line of blood, but everyone must be cautious. You saw what he did to the other guy.’
‘Perhaps he will die anyway,’ said Ron hopefully. ‘You hit him with a couple of arrows and Rubeus isn’t exactly young.’
‘Maybe, but I’m not taking any chances with that evil bastard,’ said Troy.
Gee agreed. ‘Yes, we have to finish him off now.’
Salem Troy took a step forward. ‘Well then, follow me. Rubeus headed left, so that probably means he was headed for the West Gate. We’ll try and catch him before he gets there.’
With that, Troy, Gee and about ten more of Troy’s men, headed quickly towards the West Gate. It was silently accepted that Ron would not come with them, and he did none of the sort.
Following the Grand Master’s trail turned out to be less hard than it ought to be for his pursuers. Sporadic drops of blood lined the hallways, clearly indicating which way Rubeus had gone.
Troy was leading the group, jogging to catch up with the trail, but slowing to a halt whenever the path turned down another hallway. Here, he would use a piece of mirror to peer around the corner, just in case Rubeus was lying in wait.
The sizes of the blood drops were getting larger now, with less distance between them. This indicated that Rubeus had slowed down. The loss of vital fluids seemed to be affecting him at last. Yet Troy was not taking any chances. An injured animal could put up an almighty fight if needs be.
All of a sudden, the trail changed course, away from the West Gate. Instead of going in a straight line, Rubeus had gone right, down another corridor. The men followed, wondering what he was up to.
The answer soon came when the blood line veered to the right once more. This corridor was a dead end. It led to the Grand Master’s study.
The men stopped halfway up the passageway. They could clearly see blood on the floorboards ahead, which continued up to and inside the doorway.
Troy and Gee stood there panting and trying to gather their breath.
‘He went inside,’ said Gee.
‘Yes. And this is the only way out.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘When I was a young lad and before Rubeus was Grand Master, I once spent a horrible few hours in that room. Got into trouble for placing a bucket of whitewash on top of the door to Old Groucho’s classroom. He sent me to the Headmaster, who in turn sent me to see Grand Master Dreyden.’
‘Aha. Did the whitewash fall on Groucho? I’d have given anything to see that.’
‘Nope, that’s what made it worse. Some stupid kid opened the door before Groucho and the stuff fell on him. You should have seen how mad Old Groucho was! And I hadn’t even got him!’
‘So what did the Grand Master say?’
‘It was kind of weird actually. I was absolutely terrified and he must have seen it on my face. He just made me tidy up his whole study. So that’s how I know there isn’t any other door out of there. The bastard’s trapped.’
‘So what is next step, Troy? I don’t think we’re going to have many volunteers to go in there.’
‘Just leave that to me.’
Troy had a cunning grin on his face. ‘Brother Felix,’ he bellowed.
A rather small, ugly trooper stepped forwards and owned up to the name.
‘Yessir?’
‘Ah, Brother Felix. I am told that you were the one responsible to coshing Nemoy on the head last night, who was then taken to Rubeus. Yes?’
‘Yessir. As per your orders, sir,’ said the man.
‘So you admit to delivering Nemoy into the hands of the enemy?’
‘Er…I’m sorry, sir?’
‘No, no, nothing to be sorry for, man. You followed orders. I like to see a man who can follow orders. In fact, I think that deserves a promotion.’
‘What?’ said Brother Felix.
‘What?’ chorused Gee.
‘Oh, yes! Definitely deserving of promotion. You are currently, a what? Brother-In-Arms, Thirds Class?’
‘Yessir.’
‘Well, not any more, my boy. I hereby bestow upon you the rank of Brother-In-Arms, Second Class.’
‘Thank you, sir. Er…sir?’
Yes?’
‘Are you sure? It’s just that any time something good happens to me, a bad thing follows.’
‘What are you talking about, man?’ asked Troy.
‘For instance, two years ago, I was in Brother Olaf’s squad. He promoted me to Brother-In-Arms, Second Class because I saved his life. He was choking on a chicken bone, see.’
‘But, if I’m not mistaken, Brother Olaf died eating a chicken sandwich!’
‘Yessir. He thought it couldn’t happen twice. But nobody believed me about saving his life, so I didn’t get the promotion.’
‘Well, well. Interesting story I am sure, but anyone would think that you did not want to join the ranks of Second Class.’
‘Oh no, sir. Thank you, sir.’
‘Right then. You will be quite aware that a Brother of your ranking has more responsibilities. Do you feel up to the ask?’
‘Yessir.’
‘Alright so. Now, in your own good time, Brother Felix, I would like you to open the door to Rubeus’ study.’
‘Oh bugger.’
Brother Felix was trying not to panic. He was never going to feel safe opening the door, but a atleast if he got an extra two pairs of chainmail to wear, he might feel a bit better about it.
‘Here, One-Eyed Henry, give us your chainmail.’
‘Sod off.’
‘Ah, go on. I need it. Have to bloody open the door, I do.’
‘Why didn’t you just say that you had to go to your granny’s funeral or something? Bound to leave you off due to emotional stress, that type of thing.’
Felix had not thought of making an excuse. He chastised himself for this. He had just got caught up in the moment of getting the promotion. He’d wanted to be a Brother-In-Arms, Second Class for ages.
‘Look, it is my job to open the door and that’s that,’ said Felix eventually.
‘So there’s a good chance that I won’t be getting my chainmail back,’ said One-Eye.
‘Thanks for the encouragement,’ replied Felix sarcastically. ‘Just give it to me, will you? You’ll have it back in no time.’
‘Okay, but I’m keeping my eye on you.’ Henry took off his chainmail slowly and shoved it into Felix’s arms. ‘If you try and sell it, you’ll be sorry.’
Felix wondered where the hell he would sell some crappy old chainmail around here but refrained from doing so out loud.
That was better. He had two now but wouldn’t feel better without a third.
‘Oy, Brother Davis, you look like a large, give us your chainmail.’
‘Who are you calling large, you little pipsqueak?’
Davis was prevented from further protestation because Brother Felix had become fed up of diplomatic negotiation, opting instead for the ‘large knife pointed at your throat’ option. It worked.
Freshly clothed, Felix waddled back to his captain.
‘I am ready, sir.’
‘Good man. Proceed towards the door. Make sure you open it fully, and then fell free to run.’
‘Yessir.’
Felix moved forwards ever so slowly. This did not also mean quietly, as the increased weight on the shoulders was creating quite a racket. The floorboards creaked and groaned underneath him. He tried shifting his weight, but that just meant other parts of floorboards took up the resonance.
Once he was directly by the door, a bone-chilling thought struck Felix. Firstly, the floor here had just made an awfully loud sound. If Rubeus had not known Felix was coming, he unquestionably did now.
Another thought creeping up on Felix was that, although he had all this protection on his chest and stomach, his hands were still an easy target. These self same hands would be opening the door in a matter of seconds.
Oh Gods, just let me get through this alive and with all my bits still on me and in place.
There was blood on the handle. Felix ignored it. He moved out his right hand, slowly. Then, quick as a flash, he gripped the handle, thrust open the door, and ran like the blazes. This was quite an achievement considering the weight he was carrying.
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