Discworld and Member Articles
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Written by TheJackal
Sunday, 28 August 2005 |
Gee opened his front door so fast that Ron jumped a step backwards.
‘Hello, Ron.’
There was something in the way Gee said hello that made Ron uneasy. It was almost like Gee had been expecting him.
‘You knew I was coming?’ asked Ron
‘Yes, yes. Known for a while now.’
‘How?’ demanded Ron.
‘I have my sources. Everyone should, you know. But lets not stand here gossiping all day; come on inside.’
Ron acquiesced to Gee’s invitation and both walked into a rather spacious living room.
‘Nice place you’ve got here,’ said Ron approvingly. ‘It sure beats those crappy things the Order call “houses” back in Parlay City.’
‘One of the few luxuries I was able to afford after leaving the Order.’
‘You still wear all the same black clothes,’ noted Ron.
‘Yes, it’s kind of funny that. I wore the stuff for so long I couldn’t seem to part from it.’
Ron deemed the moment for niceties to be over and got right to the point.
‘I’m afraid I’ve got some very bad news, Gee. They foun-’
‘I know all about that,’ interrupted Gee. ‘I told you I had my sources.’
‘You know?’ asked Ron incredulously.
It was hard for Ron to take in the fact that Gee apparently knew about the recent, appalling events, yet was still calmly sitting in his living room.
‘Kalem Asphalt told me,’ replied Gee simply. ‘He has been acquiring quite a lot of information from inside Parlay City.’
‘Kalem Asphalt?’ said Ron. ‘The name sounds familiar. Is he the guy who always smells weird, but you can’t quite figure out what that smell is?’
‘Yes, that’s Kalem all right,’ replied Gee. ‘But I wouldn’t mention the smell too loudly; he’s in the kitchen.’
Ron, who had been standing quite close to the entrance for the kitchen, arched his head round the door. Kalem was indeed there, with his back turned towards a counter, apparently making himself a sandwich.
‘Why’s he here?’ asked Ron
‘He just brought me some very interesting news. Very interesting indeed.’
‘What did he say?’ Ron demanded. He was tired of never knowing what was going on.
‘I’ll tell you when Nemoy gets here.’
‘Nemoy? How could he be coming here? He doesn’t even know you!’
‘He’s on a vendetta to kill Kalem. ’
Before Nemoy could respond, Brother Kalem walked into the room.
‘I will field this one, Gee,’ said Kalem. ‘It’s actually a long story mate, so you might want to sit down. Here, I made you a sandwich.
Kalem leaned forward and handed Ron a ham and cheese sandwich off the tray he was carrying. Ron took it wordlessly and sat on an old, grey armchair
‘You see,’ said Kalem beginning his story, ‘the word went out that there was a Rogue loose in the Mortal Realms. This was obviously big time news in the Order, but I had been expecting it.’
‘I told him before I left the Order,’ said Gee entering the story. ‘I knew that if someone found out, then we would be in trouble. I needed someone in the Order who could update me very few months on what was going on.’
‘Why didn’t you asked me?’ said Ron.
‘You were not senior enough to be able to come to me every few months without eventually causing some attention.’ Gee turned towards Kalem. ‘On the other hand, I have known Brother Kalem since before you were born. I trust him with my life. He also often goes to this part of the Mortal Realms as part of his work for the Order. That is, in fact why I chose to live in Farder Realm.’
‘As Gee says, I was keeping him in touch with events back home for the past thirty years, but none of it had been very exciting until recently. Of course, as soon as I heard news of a Rogue fitting the description Gee had given me, I came here.’
‘Well, obviously I was alarmed by Kalem’s news,’ continued Gee. ‘However, over the past few years I had been thinking of what I should do if the truth came out: my plan was for Kalem to lure Nemoy here. Then we could find a way to kill him, as we should have all those years ago. I hoped that if we did so, then we might be spared from the same faith.’
‘But all of that changed when I got here this morning,’ said Kalem. ‘You see, I was back in a pub in Parlay City the night before last, when I bumped into Brother Smeer. He’s a wormy, little guy who roomer had it, had recently been in the favour of Grand Master Rubeus.’
‘So I thought to myself: if I can get this guy talking, I might be able to find out more about Rubeus’ plans. I never dreamed that the guy would know so much.’
‘Brother Smeer was pretty depressed about his new job. He hates being around Rubeus all the time.’
‘I don’t blame him,’ said Ron. ‘Rubeus gives everyone the creeps.’
‘Well, after a few pints, I think it was almost a relief for Brother Smeer to tell me what was going on: apparently, Rubeus found out from Smeer about two weeks ago that Nemoy might be Immortal. Smeer had been in a tavern and seen Nemoy leave unscathed from a stabbing incident. So Rubeus decided to set up a test to make sure.’
‘What type of test?’ enquired Ron.
‘They threw Nemoy off a cliff! When Nemoy survived, Rubeus kept it a secret. Smeer wasn’t sure why, but it had something to do with transferring powers from Nemoy into himself.’
‘Can you imagine it?’ said Gee. ‘Rubeus is already Grand Master and the most feared man in the Order. What would he be like with increased powers?’
Ron, like all of them, did not want to imagine it.
‘So what are we going to do then?’
‘Keep Nemoy away from Brother Rubeus,’ said Kalem.
‘How?’
‘I told you he is on his way,’ said Gee simply.
‘Yes, you said he was coming to kill Kalem!’
‘Well,’ said Kalem, ‘Nemoy was understandably pissed off when they threw him off the cliff. He went looking for the guy who had done it. The only description he had of the person responsible was that of a guy wearing all black clothes.’
‘Nemoy doesn’t know that all Mediators wear the same clothes,’ said Gee with a devilish smile on his face. ‘So I sent Kalem off to ask loads of people travelling on the road from eastern Farder to Druid’s Realm, to see if they knew where Sleep Falls was.’
‘I must have asked about two hundred people!’ said Kalem with a little laugh. ‘I got quite sick of it after a while, but it worked because the tavern where Nemoy got stabbed in is situated on the main trade root between Druid’s Realm and Farder. Someone eventually passed on the story and Nemoy started to head here.’
‘It all seems a bit far fetched,’ said Ron. ‘I mean, wouldn’t it be dangerous for Nemoy to come looking for the guy who tried to kill him?’
‘Hah!’ exclaimed Kalem. ‘You’re too young yet lad to understand it, but both Gee here and myself have had attempts on our lives. You know what it’s like in the Order: Brothers are constantly trying to gain promotion and assassination is nearly always the way. Fortunately both of us have survived attacks, but that is only because we find the guys who tried it and make sure they can’t ever try it again, if you know what I mean.’
‘So you’re saying-‘
‘I’m saying that Nemoy doesn’t want to be looking over his back all the time, just waiting for that bastard to return to finish the job. Either that, or he finally figured out he is Immortal.’
Gee, who had previously been gazing out of the front window through a set of binoculars, interrupted the conversation. Nemoy was about three hundred yards away, nearing the front of the driveway.
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