Discworld and Member Articles
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Written by TheJackal
Sunday, 28 August 2005 |
‘Housekeeping.’
Kalem threw a bucket of water all over Nemoy. The freezing cold water shocked his body awake.
What?’ said Nemoy, who was dazed and was trying to remember where he was.
‘This is housekeeping with your three p.m. wake up call,’ said Brother Kalem in a mock, falsetto voice. He was even holding a feather duster for increased effect. Gee was laughing out loud. Even Ron couldn’t help but smile. The humour broke the tension.
‘What the hell?’ said Nemoy but nobody could hear him as his mouth was gagged with a sock. His body was tied to a small, wooden chair borrowed from the kitchen.
‘Sorry about the sock and all that. We wanted to explain some things to you before you started yelling and kicking. The sock is clean, if it helps?’
Nemoy just grunted.
‘Right then,’ said Gee. ‘My name is Gilbert Adams but people called Gee. On my left is Brother Ron Stevens. And the fellow here on my left is Brother Kalem Asphalt. We mean you no harm. In fact, that is why you are still alive today. I will tell you a story about an extraordinary event that took place thirty years ago. It will be hard to believe but I assure you it is all true.’
With that, Gee slowly told Nemoy the whole story about the Order’s existence and botched Job during Nemoy’s birth, which in turn had led to the huge mess they now faced and Gee’s reason for leaving the Order. They could tell by the widening of Nemoy’s eyes that he could not truly believe it. After finishing the tale, Gee removed the sock from Nemoy’s mouth.
‘That’s the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever heard,’ said Nemoy quickly. ‘Is this some kind of cult? You’re not going to sacrifice me are you?
Nemoy was blathering away now non-stop.
‘You are, aren’t you? You’re going to cut me and bleed me dry. I bet ye are all Satan worshippers. That’s why ye wear black. Then at night ye drink people’s blood, say enchantments, draw weird symbols on the floor, and all that.’
‘No,’ said Gee sharply. He was afraid Nemoy wouldn’t take it well.
Next, it was Kalem’s turn to speak. ‘You are in total denial, mate. Think about it: You were stabbed in the chest and you did not die; you were thrown off a bloody cliff and you DID NOT DIE. Get it? You are IMMORTAL.’
‘You should be happy really, in a way,’ added Ron. ‘I mean, you can’t be killed. People can try alright but they cannot kill you. That is more than can be said for us when the Order catches up. They are not the forgiving type.’
Gee decided to speak again. ‘You have to believe us, Nemoy. It is the truth. There are also quite a lot more events you do not know about: Firstly, none of us here tried to kill you lately. But you would have probably concluded that yourself since the man who stabbed you in the tavern is not one of us three. His name is Brother Smeer. I must apologise for leading you here under false pretences. Kalem masqueraded as Brother Smeer, in the hope to you would come here looking for him. My assumption was correct. You were unfortunately part of a game of cat and mouse. You were the cat, of course; you just underestimated the size of the mouse.’
Nemoy had to concede that point at least. ‘The guy in the tavern was smaller any of you three. His hair was also greasier.’
‘Yes, that would be Brother Smeer.’ Kalem then told him about his recent encounter with Smeer in the pub in Parlay City. It was hard to take in but the story seemed to make sense of certain events, like why Nemoy was thrown off the cliff. Nemoy looked into the three men’s eyes and saw genuine fear. He began to feel fearful himself.
‘Okay, say I did believe you guys. And I’m just saying maybe. Well, what would I have to do?’
Gee relaxed somewhat. Nemoy would play ball.
‘In that case, it would mean getting you out of here as soon as possible. The Order could be close in on this location at any moment. On the plus side, Brother Kalem has a lot of friends in Farder Realm and has been arranging transportation.’
‘You think it is that serious?’ asked Nemoy.
‘Oh yes. The danger is very real and very close. I believe our best course of action would be to get you away from here as soon as we can, and to meet tomorrow in a safer location.’
‘Right,’ said Nemoy, ‘first thing’s first: Somebody untie me.’
As the rain settled in for the day, the people of Sleepy Falls worked overtime to reap their crops. All residents, that was, except Old Man Adams and his companions, who argued out their plans.
Back in Parlay City, things had not gone as Polix had hoped. Rubeus had not been in a good mood. Technically, Brother Rubeus had been in good humour, but not the forgiving type. Polix had expected an onslaught of harsh words and a barrage of shouting. Instead, Rubeus had spoken calmly, without raising his voice. This served only to unnerve Polix even more. You knew where you stood when someone shouted his or her head off at you. Calmness, on the other hand, was very disturbing. Rubeus could be thinking anything.
Polix had been taken away for ‘holding’, as Master Rubeus had put it. He would decide on Polix’s punishment later. Two guards escorted Polix to the bottom basement of the Inner Sanctum building. It was a monstrosity of a structure, with four floors above ground and two subterranean basements.
The bottom basement comprised of twenty cells, though it was a rarity for more than one or two of them to be occupied at any one time. Brothers in the Order tended to behave, especially when a Grand Master as devious as Rubeus, ruled them.
Polix was lead towards a small, unwelcoming cell in the corner of a long, badly lit passageway. The passage and cell alike suffered poorly from dampness. The guards did not seem to be over worried by this issue.
Upon reaching the cell, one of the guards, the taller and stronger looking of the two, roughly grabbed Polix and pushed him forward into the cell, locking the door behind him. Polix did not struggle or shout. He knew escape was hopeless, and words meaningless.
Soon Polix’s faith would be decided.
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