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Written by Joculator
Thursday, 18 September 2008 |
For the curious and to explain the bloodstained photo in my album here is the explanation of the events behind the post.
Scene 1 - A pleasant day in the house.
Time - Cat feeding time.
Roll recall.... Action!
1 - Carrying fat, unexploded cat downstairs from office.
2 - Idiot outside tries to knock door off hinges. Apparently can't work out how to use doorbell.
3 - Cat spooks at sudden noise, bites me under left eyebrow, attempts open heart surgery on chest with back feet (very successfully even through my through T-shirt).
4 - Cat goes into 4-paw drive and decides safest escape route is straight up my face, over top of head and back upstairs.
5 - Door is opened by a rather bloody character to the tune of... "Are you _ing stupid or something? What do you _ing want, you _ing idiot? Go on ***k off! I haven't got the _ing time to waste on you, you _ing w****r.I'm going to have to get my _ing face stitched back on, you _ing idiot"
6 - Clipboard carrying idiot runs down path to safety of the public highway.
I still don't know who he was or what he wanted and I appear to have frightened him out of the area because none of the neighbours were pestered by him either.
The good news is that the cat has managed to completely get the blood stains and shreds of skin out of her claws.
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I shouldn't laugh this hard about that post...