So, today at work one of the other blokes in my team needed to take off at lunch, and I said I'd be happy to cover for the rest of the day. Normally I leave at 4, because I get in at 7:30.

I do try to make sure that people know I'm willing to stay later if they want to go early, but anyway, my manager was going to be the only other person there today, and she had a meeting that risked lasting past 4. So, I was going to stay until the offices closed if she didn't come back.

I even said, before she left, "if you'd like to take the rest of the afternoon off, I really don't mind staying until close." She rather emphatically said she wasn't taking the afternoon off but had a meeting to go to. I left it at that, because there's just no talking to some people.

She got back at 10 past four, and I asked if it was okay for me to leave now. She was rather sarcastic saying of course, since i *always* leave at four and no one else can. I said I'm always happy to stay later, and she said she was quite offended by my earlier comment. Turns out she felt that I suggested she was only skiving off work instead of going to a meeting.

At this point I insisted I was only offering to cover for the office and not implying anything of the sort, and she dismissed me with "That's not how it sounded to me." I made an abject apology but just got more flack for other people not being able to leave at four... despite my always insisting I'm willing to stay as late as I need to.

I dunno... Grace thinks this is an "English" thing, where people simply expect you to do things the nice way and read their mind so they don't have to do anything as socially embarassing as tell you to do something differently.

Anyway, I'm days away from finishing the major bulk of the work I was hired to do, and I've appearantly and inadvertently offended my manager to the point where she wont even accept an apology. Time to find a new job yet?

"If I wanted to read Wuthering Heights, I'd shoot my self."

That’s what it sounds like. What are you looking for? Anything specific or particular field you would like to work in? What are you qualified to do?

Fuck Shoes.

Whether it's a American/English thing, your esteemed leader sounds like she is severely lacking in managerial skills. I don' think that pouting or sarcasm is part of the skills list! It never fails to amaze me; the social outcasts that they promote to a Managerial role! Perhaps a team/department switch is in order?

Did you show her your cuddly teddy bear side?

Freya [living dangerously, she's just back from the pub]

She's not a bad egg, by any means, but she's not always as assertive as a manager sometimes needs to be.

I seem to be encountering a lot of people who've been bottling stuff up inside lately, however!

Anyway, the good thing about this job is that it's only a 1 year contract. I'm at the verge of finishing it in only seven and a half months, and I've been doing good quality work. I don't see any way they can give me a negative review without verging on slander!

As for what I'm looking for... the job market around here is crap. I found a trainee at a local legal firm, but it turns out the position would be working with property law and sales, which would have me in constant contact with the very people i'm working with now!

I may have to look a little further afield for better opportunities. Until I finish my degree, there's not a lot that I'm qualified to do. Psychology, Education, and Journalism are the things I'm most interested in, but difficult to get into with my qualifications.

"If I wanted to read Wuthering Heights, I'd shoot my self."

Become a busker, everyone likes buskers!

I plan on sending this email to her tomorrow morning:

Dear ____

After yesterday's misunderstanding, I felt the need to clear the air regarding several matters to do with my working hours.

First of all, I would like to reiterate that my comment yesterday was purely intended to indicate that if you wished to leave straight after your meeting, I was happy to stay and man the office; in no way was I implying anything else. I am very sorry that you took offence at this. It was certainly not my intention.

You also brought up the subject of my working hours. I am in the habit of working from 7.30am till 4.00pm, due to comments you made at my first appraisal, indicating that my working hours must be regular. Since these were the hours I had recently been working at the time, I immediately adopted them, imagining that if this was still inappropriate you would let me know. At my subsequent review, the matter was not raised; therefore, I did not realise it was a problem.

At our first team meeting, you stressed that everyone needs to be considerate of the rest of the team. I understand that, by arriving early, I allow others to have flexible starting times. I also made it clear at that team meeting, and on many subsequent occasions, that I am perfectly willing to stay late in order to allow others to go home early. This remains the case, and I am unhappy about your suggestion yesterday that I prevent others from leaving at hours that suit them.

Naturally, if I start early and stay late, this raises the issue of flexi-time. At my initial interview and when my appointment was confirmed, you informed me that mandatory hours are 10.00-12.00 and 2.30-4.00, and that I could work any other hours between 7.00am and 7.00pm, as long as the office was covered. Furthermore, if I worked longer than my required hours, I could take up to two days off per flexi-period with the time accrued. I understood this was at my manager's (i.e. your) discretion. Please let me know if any of this is incorrect, or if I have misunderstood.

Having been told this, I was under the impression that it was perfectly acceptable for me to build up flexi-time and take that time off. At no point was I given to understand that this should be an unusual occurrence. However, the last time I booked a flexi-day, you said that my use of flexi-time was only just within the guidelines for its use.

When I discussed this with you at that time, you suggested that I look at either taking longer lunches or coming in later; you then immediately retracted the latter suggestion. However, even taking inappropriately long lunch breaks, I would still build up flexi-time if I stayed past 4.00pm. My transport situation means that I arrive at the office at just before 7.30am. Even if this were not the case, the conversation we had made it clear that you prefer for me to start early. So it appears that I am expected to start early and finish late, but still not build up too much flexi-time. I find these conflicting requirements quite confusing, and it is unclear to me what exactly is expected of me.

I have tried very hard to follow all the suggestions and requests you have made in terms of my working hours, and have frequently stated that I am prepared to be flexible, and have proven this when asked to fit in with others. On occasions when I am unsure whether you might wish to leave at 4.00pm, I have checked whether you want me to stay, and have only left after your repeated assurance that you are prepared to stay. I have always tried to be considerate, and I always make sure that there is someone expecting to man the office when I am not present, and happily stay to man the office when asked. If I am still not meeting expectations, I am at a loss as to how.

If I am not fulfilling expectations, or if I am behaving in a way that inconveniences other members of staff, I fully expect and hope that my manager will tell me directly, and I will adjust my behaviour accordingly. I do not expect anyone to build up resentment until they lose their temper with me. This is unnecessary.

I am very upset to think I have done anything to so offend you, ____, and I apologise once again. All I have been doing is trying to fit in with your expectations, and that is what I will continue to do. If you state clearly what the problems are and what I must do to resolve them, I will be more than happy to oblige.

Kind regards,

"If I wanted to read Wuthering Heights, I'd shoot my self."

I remember talking to you in Manchester about your work Clay and you seemed to have some good ideas then about using your experience and the credits you recieved in the US towards furthering your education whilst working. I know it's a lot harder than it sounds because i've tried juggling the two but it is normally worth it at the end.

If all else fails Clay you can come and work for me as a chewing gum remover from my various shoes and clothes that always seem to pick it up whenever I go out. :(

Back to stay!

... give me a starting salary of 17,000 and I'll consider it. I also expect a "Golden Hello", or at the very least a "Silver How ya doin'?"

"If I wanted to read Wuthering Heights, I'd shoot my self."

2 pound 50 a day, now that's a wage.

Okay, after a few glasses of "Brave-Juice", I can be quite vocal about a couple of Managers that I've had in my past and one that my Hubby has at the moment. The Teddy Bear comment was a reference to an jokey exchange we had on another thread and the other Board. I wouldn't expect you to remember; you are a God after all and I, a mere Newbit.

That aside, your e-mail is very well set out, clear and to the point. However, it points out many obvious failings on the part of your Manager. Fair they may be but I wonder, given her previous reaction to purported criticism, whether an email is the best approach. These things are easily misunderstood. Perhaps an in-person approach, opening with the "apologies if I offended you yesterday" speech that you made in your email would remove the thorn from the lion's paw. Then go on to clarify your workings hours. If she really isn't a Bad Egg, she may be feeling bad about her reaction in any event.

EDIT: Poor use of tense and to add Emoticon as I'm joking again

Rather than send an email, can you arrange a meeting with her? It's usually much better to discuss this type of thing face to face. An email makes it seem like you are avoiding contact with her, which sort of adds to the argument that you're not 'fitting in with the team'. (You can print out a copy of the email and bring it to you with the meeting as notes.)

Cat Clash

I don't want to risk talking to her in person. between my tendancy to mumble, and different versions of English, i don't think she understands me much when I speak to her.

As for the email... it's a lot less accusatory than the first draft.

"If I wanted to read Wuthering Heights, I'd shoot my self."

I don't know if you have already sent this, but in case you haven't, I would rephrase that. In communication with the boss, especially in a case like this, try to sound more positive while keeping the content intact. This would, in fact, apply to the whole letter as such.

It really depends on whether you want to get out of there fast or placate her and remind her, oh so gently, that you are doing your job even if she isn't AKA handle your Manager (there I go again *slaps self*).

Personally, I think that an in-person meeting would be best if you could bite the bullet. In my experience, email correspondence at work always comes back to bite you in the butt. However, if you really think that it would cause more problems, try changing the email to stress that you felt it was important for the Team that you sorted this out. Make it less about her failings (pretty difficult, I'm sure) and more about simple clarification. My thoughts would be to just go for a couple of important points at first, you can sort the rest of the crap, once you've opened a dialogue without her getting defensive.

Actually, Freya is right .. it's easier to sort this kind of stuff in person. And you have to remember to smile a lot