The camera pans across the glittering stadium where the games are being held and the people in it. An engineering oversight by the construction company (BSJ international) means it has three sides, each with 50 tiers 3 seats deep. But nevertheless, it glitters like a pearly queen, over 600 construction workers were up all night with copious amounts of kitchen foil and pritt-stick to complete the effect.

The crowd goes wild as a thousand schoolchildren appear on the pitch. They form the shapes of the holy symbols each in turn – the Krugerrand, the Pie and the Beer. Their performance comes to an end and they rush towards the exit gates, which are kindly held open by Ba Witda himself, my notes say that they will in no [i:24e3864398]tangible[/i:24e3864398] way be converted into pies during the remainder of the games. This is the friendly games after all!

And now the games anthem will be sung by the Garnerite choir, the anthem is penned by a Mr. Onic in honour of a lowly Witdan and the Garnerites do not look happy about singing… or it could possibly be the faces of the rabid weasels which will be released if they don’t.

Well the dancing is over, the singing is over – all that is left to start the games is the Boardonwealth Flame…

--------------------------------------------------------

[quote:24e3864398="der troll"][color=orange:24e3864398]HI, I'M NU HERE AND ONLY JUST FOUND THIS SITE. I LOVE TERRY PRATTCHET A LOT! MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS R CONINA AND 'TRUNKIE'. THIS IS A GREAT SITE, BUT A LOT OF U PEOPLE SEEM MEAN AND I DON'T LIKE HOW THE SITE IS DESIGNED. YOU SHOULD TAKE MY IDEAS AND CHANGE THINGS TO MAKE IT BETTER. LOL!

OH, AND SO U NO, I'M 17 AND HAVE BEEN A DISKWURLD FAN FOR 4 YEARS! THAT'S AS LONG AS I'VE HAD BREASTS!!!![/color:24e3864398][/quote:24e3864398]

You have 24 hours to flame this pathetic beast – I will then open a poll for you to choose your favourite.

edit: to praise Garner for writing the troll stuff
edit2: added poll

Well let me introduce you and point you to our FAQ section that can be found here.

While we welcome your presence within our community there are a few things that should be pointed out.

Those aren't breasts they are tissues mascarding as breasts. The reason that you appear to have a chest that has grown tissues instead of body tissue is that your DNA seems to have been crossed with a hamster that needs to wipe its arse with toilet paper... This genetic deforminty seems to also have affected your social skills making you as interesting as soggy washing machine scum...

But hey make yourself at home and tell us what you really think.

[quote:b40503b307="der troll"][color=orange:b40503b307]HI, I'M NU HERE AND ONLY JUST FOUND THIS SITE. I LOVE TERRY PRATTCHET A LOT! MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS R CONINA AND 'TRUNKIE'. THIS IS A GREAT SITE, BUT A LOT OF U PEOPLE SEEM MEAN AND I DON'T LIKE HOW THE SITE IS DESIGNED. YOU SHOULD TAKE MY IDEAS AND CHANGE THINGS TO MAKE IT BETTER. LOL! [/color:b40503b307][/quote:b40503b307]

It's really quite outstanding how you manage to make a massive contradiction in your first ever paragraph on the board. It's a great site, but you dislike it's design and members? It really is sad that a fellow Pratchett fan has so few braincells

And your ideas would be to take all the text, pop it into a blender and then allow a dyslexic two year old to spellcheck it? Or maybe you would like a new colour scheme, I hear orange is the new black - for blind people.

[quote:b40503b307][color=orange:b40503b307]OH, AND SO U NO, I'M 17 AND HAVE BEEN A DISKWURLD FAN FOR 4 YEARS! THAT'S AS LONG AS I'VE HAD BREASTS!!!![/color:b40503b307][/quote:b40503b307]

Breasts for four years? Wow, so how heavy are you now? 19, 20 stone? I mean they must be really huge for them to be forever pushing down the Caps Lock button. Your blubber must also have spread to your eyes if you think that a bright colour such as that is fit for usage on a public message. I feel like a masochist for reading it, it's brighter than you, that's for sure.

Oh, and welcome to the board, please follow the revolving door until you have once again exited this place. If by chance that you get stuck in the revolving door and end up back here, please learn how to use proper English spelling and grammar, basic net etiquette and read the 'Code of Counduct'. It's linked at the top of the page, if you can see it past the puffy pieces of gelatin on your eyelids.

[quote:8584b0361d="der troll"][color=orange:8584b0361d]HI, I'M NU HERE AND ONLY JUST FOUND THIS SITE. I LOVE TERRY PRATTCHET A LOT! MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS R CONINA AND 'TRUNKIE'. THIS IS A GREAT SITE, BUT A LOT OF U PEOPLE SEEM MEAN AND I DON'T LIKE HOW THE SITE IS DESIGNED. YOU SHOULD TAKE MY IDEAS AND CHANGE THINGS TO MAKE IT BETTER. LOL!

OH, AND SO U NO, I'M 17 AND HAVE BEEN A DISKWURLD FAN FOR 4 YEARS! THAT'S AS LONG AS I'VE HAD BREASTS!!!![/color:8584b0361d][/quote:8584b0361d]

Dear Troll,

I would like to say thank you for this colourful introduction and welcome to this board.

I truly would.

But I can't, because I'm not all that good at lying, and the fact is that that introduction was crap, and as crappy as the rest of your posts will probably be, and that is not something I can be thankful for, and it is certainly not something welcome on this board. You visibly have the IQ of a boiled oyster, not even in a pie, because pie is good, and you, are not. I know, I'm judging your book by its cover, and for all I know, you're a 40 year old rocket scientist pretending to be a teenage idiot. If that is the case, then you're actually more pathetic than you would have been if you were an actual bona-fide teenage idiot. Which you may actually be. So congratulations, it could be worse, see !!!

It is not all that surprising that Conina is one of your favourites, you seem surprisingly alike, especially the "like me ! I have tits !" attitude. I also have tits. Although unfortunately, I also got a brain, which stops me from using them as part of (or rather the whole of) my personnality. Tits cannot generate personnality, they can only produce milk and dribble, the latter of which of course is actually physically produced by onlooking males or suckling babies. And guess what, tits don't actually show up on a message board. Well, you obviously know this, as you took the trouble to mention them in your first ever post, and I'm sure many people here are very thankful to you for that. But unless you mention them in every post, they won't be of much use to you here, so please, put them away, Rinso is about to drown in his own dribble (he already produces enough of that without breasts being mentioned, so please don't make things worse.)

Now, let's explain things a little more so you can attempt to comprehend them... sorry " so U unnastand 'em". This is a board for people who appreciate Terry Pratchett's books. It's in the title of the site, in the URL, and basically, you seem to have got that far into understanding. Terry Pratchett is a writer. He doesn't publish collections of chatroom logs, he writes and publishes books. His books are good, and that is why we like them. Still there ? Ok, fine, bear with me a tad bit more...

The people here like books what are well written, if they wanted to read trollspeak, they would go to some spotty adolescent chatroom where they could learn all about people's breasts, whether they have them or not, and details about how big they are and wether they sway in the wind. But they don't (or at least, they don't admit to it in public) they come here, to enjoy the company of people who like the same things, namingly good writing.

So quit the trollspeak, and please kindly go hang yourself.

For fuck's sake...

[quote:f87095478a="der troll"][color=orange:f87095478a]HI, I'M NU HERE AND ONLY JUST FOUND THIS SITE. I LOVE TERRY PRATTCHET A LOT! MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS R CONINA AND 'TRUNKIE'. THIS IS A GREAT SITE, BUT A LOT OF U PEOPLE SEEM MEAN AND I DON'T LIKE HOW THE SITE IS DESIGNED. YOU SHOULD TAKE MY IDEAS AND CHANGE THINGS TO MAKE IT BETTER. LOL!

OH, AND SO U NO, I'M 17 AND HAVE BEEN A DISKWURLD FAN FOR 4 YEARS! THAT'S AS LONG AS I'VE HAD BREASTS!!!![/color:f87095478a][/quote:f87095478a]

Congratulations on finding this site, I am so glad that the average IQ had just dropped by 50 points. Perhaps you should be introduced to a few concepts:[list:f87095478a]1. The 'CAPS LOCK' key it is located on the left hand side of the keyboard, roughly in the middle - You found it once, try it again. It helps
2. 'Spelling' - Many of the people on this site do not have english as their first language, and would have problems reading what you have posted - Hell I do, and I am English - This is not negotiable
3. The Universe in all of its glory does not revolve around you - Solipsism is not a virtue
4. You are not special, even if you do have breasts. You are probably not even in a minority, so that would make me more special than you[/list:u:f87095478a]

Now parts 3 and 4 may seem irrelevant, and possibly a little unkind. In mitigation though, there are quite a few folks here who do like the design, and your opinion at this moment is worthless - We don't know you, and judging by your contribution thus far - we probably don't want to, so get over yourself.

If you think anyone is mean, that is your problem. We know that we can be nice. Can you be intelligent? Somehow I doubt it

[Off Topic - Garner, Why do you say that?]

[quote:5ca09d6293="Victimov8"][Off Topic - Garner, Why do you say that?][/quote:5ca09d6293]
I'm hoping that that's his flame, and not a comment on mine... :?

That was my guess - But I don't know

Hello Troll!

You fucking peice of donkey crap. You pathetic bag o' wank.

MEAN!?

You think THIS is mean?!

What fucking cave have you just emerged from, cunt bag? This is the real world. That means people are sometimes "mean".

Ohhhhh, shock!

You don't like the decor? Go fucking die. Please.

We don't WANT your ideas. As lovely as putting flowers and rainbows everywhere is, and as delightful as a thread about "BESTEST BOY BAND EVER!" would be, I think we can live without it.

You make me sick.

I hope you get cancer, and a dog pisses on your corpse.

Hello der troll, You sound like a really interesting guy, I like your choice of fave characters and you have such an artistic way with words - I bet stamp collecting would be right up your alley, perhaps you could combine that with your love of the man [s:886985df20]breasts[/s:886985df20] Terry Pratchett somehow? If you Googled the two I'm sure something would come up, fnar fnar.

NO MORE FLAMES!

The poll is up, vote for your favourite. The winner will be declared in 24 hours...

Hey! why can't I vote for "[b:3510d6778a]Victimov8[/b:3510d6778a]"?

I liked his flame...

Ba fixed it.

[quote:1842abc863="Tephlon"]Hey! why can't I vote for "[b:1842abc863]Victimov8[/b:1842abc863]"?

I liked his flame...[/quote:1842abc863]

godammit - thanks to Ba for fixing it.

Strangely enough I think everyones voting for themselves The way it should be