Michael Augustus Garner born 22/05/09 at 13:13. Mother and baby continue to recover from the ordeal. Father continues to panic when unable to identify reason behind baby's cries.

"If I wanted to read Wuthering Heights, I'd shoot my self."

Maybe it is because you put the government on his shoulders rightaway?
Again, congratulations and careful hugs to all three of you!

I put pictures on Facebook.
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Mrs G
The Garner who cares.

Yaaay, congratulations Garners!!!!

Michael is an adorable baby - possibly the cutest I've seen so far

Garner, you'll figure most of the reasons soon, some though will always be mysterious, so after you do all the basics like feed, change, look for pokey stuff in his clothes, try to joke him out of it, blow hard in his face to see if you can startle him out of it, check for fever or stiffness. well sometimes you just have to lay him in his crib and walk away. Sometimes we all have to cry. You can't spoil him by holding him at this stage or by picking him up at the first peep even, that just helps him know he is safe and he will just get less demanding as he is sure he will be taken care of. He may get low altitude disease from time to time, but it really isn't that bad to have to walk around with a baby for a while. When you can tell he's doing it on purpose is when the fun really begins. I'm sure you will be a great dad and I agree with Mazekin he may be the cutest ever. I'd say you may just have to invest in anti-girl devices right away.

() ()
( ' ,') "don't eat green potatoes"
(> >) Last words of Mrs. Bertha Sperling
@( )_ )_

Aw, I don't believe that spoiling is an issue yet. Their thinking processes are too basic and instinctive ("Don't leave me alone or the tiger will come and eat me!") to be tarnished by conclusions during the first months. Just do what your guts tell you to do, in a few weeks you'll have more than a clue.

Congratulations Clay and Grace! I'll have to wait until I get home to see the pictures as work has blocked face book. I'm sure your ear will adjust to what cry means what very soon.

Congrats guys. Thats great news!

Why crying:

1. Hungry
2. Wet/dirty nappy
3. Pissed at the world
4. Hungry

PhD Student: Research information sheet

There once was a man named Bruce
Who liked to sit on a spruce
He ate lots of chowder
And yelled at me louder:
"I'm talking to YOU, Mrs. Hughes!"
--> The Literary Genius: Mowgli

Sounds like a male Garner all right...
Congrats to the three of you, and welcome to this crazy world young Michael. You won't ever get used to it, but it will grow on you eventually.

Damn Spider pig

Congrats guys.

R.

Q. How do you write?
A. One word at a time.

Congratulations from the two J's (J'tor and J'trix)

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like grandpa. Not screaming and panicking like his passengers.
Don't drink and drive from The Lancre Tavern

Thanks, guys! We're tired, but doing OK. I am getting expert at breastfeeding, and Garner is getting expert at nappy changing.

Mrs G
The Garner who cares.

Congratulations, guys.

Anticipate charity by preventing poverty. - Rabbi Moshe ben-Maimon

Brilliant, nice one you two.

Dragon's Kingdom - Stop typing "alot" when you mean "a lot"! - Disappointed

He is lovely. Just remember that when he brings his first girlfriend home you can embarrass him with all his baby photos including ones of him in the bath.

"You know why big brothers where born first? It was so they could protect the little brothers and sisters who come after them." Ichigo, Bleach Episode 3.