So the story goes that my good friend from uni broke up from my husbands good friend and ex-housemate in early August last year. She was broken up about it but he has just got engaged to someone else and the weddings in May...

This has put a large group of his friends in the awkward position of being friends with him and my friend.

The new girl is a member of some happy-clapper religion that doesn't drink, smoke, swear or have sex before marriage. We think this explains the undue haste in the wedding... but the wedding is dry. Honestly a dry wedding and reception!!!

Would you BYO to the reception or not?

PhD Student: Research information sheet

There once was a man named Bruce
Who liked to sit on a spruce
He ate lots of chowder
And yelled at me louder:
"I'm talking to YOU, Mrs. Hughes!"
--> The Literary Genius: Mowgli

I wouldn't, but would make a hasty retreat after the vows. Maybe keep a little in the car to make the reception a little easier to deal with. Or you could go for option C, which is to get hammered before the wedding so that you won't even have to worry about drinking during or after it.

My personal favorite is to have a "cold" and go to the bar, skipping the wedding entirely and just offering best wishes and apologies later.

Every fight is a food fight to a cannibal. - Demetri Martin

Your 'cold' idea has merit but the hubby is the best man... Less than easy to ditch the thing...

PhD Student: Research information sheet

There once was a man named Bruce
Who liked to sit on a spruce
He ate lots of chowder
And yelled at me louder:
"I'm talking to YOU, Mrs. Hughes!"
--> The Literary Genius: Mowgli

The groom wouldn't want him sneezing on the ring and then them spend the honeymoon with the sniffles, now would he? See, problem solved. Razor's Oakum. Simplest solution is always the best. The grooms dad/brother/next best friend steps in and wedding saved and you get to keep your sanity. Or your manatee, whichever.

PS. Nate shouldn't post after drinking. Or should he.....?

Every fight is a food fight to a cannibal. - Demetri Martin

Ach, awkward indeed...

Not being much of a drinker myself, I must admit I wouldn't have much of a problem, but I can see the dilemma for you alcoholic dudes . I would say definitely don't BYO, if she's really into this religion then there's a good chance her family and friends may be too, and you would probably offend them which is not the best thing to do at a wedding. Now, by all means, bring some along and leave it in the car, slip out for a quick tipple if you need one, but I'd say keep it discreet and try not to get too hammered. It is actually possible to enjoy a wedding without drinking yourself senseless!

Damn Spider pig

All weddings suck really, so I'd duck out of it completely if possible. Otherwise the old 'medicine bottle for my cold' should do well too .. a bottle of Benadryl or similar cough syrup with not-so-innocent contents

Well...

Garner and I had a dry wedding. I don't drink, he and his family include recovering alcoholics and the wedding took place on Methodist premises, where alcohol isn't allowed. Most of the guests had a great time. The only downer in my day was our one friend who spent his time ducking out for sips of whisky from the hipflask, deliberately saying offensive things to people he thought were shockable (at our rehearsal dinner he'd been just as bad, talking about oral sex to my elderly grandparents), getting pissed off with Garner when asked to remove his vampire fangs while sitting in church... Bear in mind this guy was one of the groomsmen.

I don't expect any of my friends to share my religious beliefs but I damn well expect some respect on a day like that. I was sad that he didn't take seriously what I believe in and sorry for him that his need for alcohol overcame his ability to have fun with us on our special day. I mean, come on, Doors managed and he's from Glasgow!

So, yeah, my (probably slightly unpopular) opinion is that you should suck it up and stay sober. How hard can it be to have fun without alcohol? How hard can it be to show some respect even if you don't like one of the couple and don't agree with their religious beliefs?

Mrs G
The Garner who cares.

I haven't gone to a wedding in a couple of years now. I just really hate going to weddings. I have never been to a wedding that served alcohol and have never brought my own. There have been several weddings where this was much regretted.

Nevertheless, Grace is right. Just remember that the wedding is only a couple of hours long. You can make it. Or not. We'll find out though won't we.

Every fight is a food fight to a cannibal. - Demetri Martin

When I (very timidly) suggested a dry wedding - in order to save cash, not because of any personal principle - our family and friends quickly indicated that if that's the case, then I'll be having a wedding all by myself, while everyone else will be partying at an alternate location, with or without the bride

To Spiky - my sympathy to your friend, hope she finds someone cool very soon! As for the wedding - either the hosts are going to work extra hard to help the guests break the ice and enjoy themselves (in which case - hey, have fun! ), or it's going to be dull yet mercifully brief (in which case - get in, get out, go have fun elsewhere!)

Just wondering - is there going to be dancing?

Friends don't let friends take up scrapbooking!

... Come to think of it, even though we ended up having our wedding at an Irish-themed bar, no one ended up crazy-inebriated (except for one friend who only talks about real estate at parties, and there were no other real-estaters amongst the guests)... I'm guessing that there were enough ice-breakers, such as the fact that Brad and I didn't have any time to prepare our officiating frend for the ceremony, and so he kept asking us, in low voice: "Okay, now what am I supposed to say?"...

Friends don't let friends take up scrapbooking!

The whole drinking thing at the wedding wasn't so much of a getting roaring drunk type thing but more this is going to be an all day affair and discussion did centre around whether the group of usual suspects would include something in the car in case it was needed or whether we go to a bar between wedding and reception etc...

It can be a dry wedding but is any alcohol consumption inappropriate?

PhD Student: Research information sheet

There once was a man named Bruce
Who liked to sit on a spruce
He ate lots of chowder
And yelled at me louder:
"I'm talking to YOU, Mrs. Hughes!"
--> The Literary Genius: Mowgli

I think escaping to a bar is perfectly acceptable. Taking a bottle in to either ceremony or reception and having a few or eight in front of the bride and family may be a bit disrespectful. The same goes for getting plastered and then showing up. It is their day so it's probably best to not cause any fuss.

A buddy of mine had a Camelbak ( CamelBak - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ) from his time in the army. It enabled him to drink quite stealthily when he wore baggy enough clothes. Even at work. Just something to think about.....

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it, and then move on.

-Bob Newhart

I wouldn't think it was an issue if you'd had a couple of drinks between the wedding and reception. If you're not getting drunk, it's only like having a couple of cokes or cups of tea or something. Although I still don't understand the need for alcohol, but then I don't drink!

Mrs G
The Garner who cares.

Ba just wants to point out that Camelbaks are indeed awesome.

Although a friend did point out that you can never get the alcohol taste out of it if you actually want to use it for its intended purposes, i.e. drinking while cycling. Unless you want vodka flavoured water its best to have a dedicated alcohol camelback. Just a thought.

PhD Student: Research information sheet

There once was a man named Bruce
Who liked to sit on a spruce
He ate lots of chowder
And yelled at me louder:
"I'm talking to YOU, Mrs. Hughes!"
--> The Literary Genius: Mowgli