I must say that I am fairly impolite to all salespeople both at my front door and over the phone (if being impolite is saying once that i'm not interested, goodbye and then closing door/putting phone down). I care not a whit if my shortness offends them in any way. They chose to call me or arrive at my door (and I know that people need to work, as I do, and that being a door-to-door cold caller isn't something many people would actually choose to do) but...Bollocks to them. I have neither the time nor the inclination to discuss purchasing anything with these people. If I want to buy something I will go find it myself.

Rant over.

R.

I've had one fairly long conversation with a Jehova's witness who hasn't returned since (I guess I'm a lost cause)

The only door to door salespeople we get here are the ones for internet/tv/phone packs.

Unfortunately for them none of them offers the basic package that my current provider gives me, and I do not have a landline phone by choice, so offering me a free one isn't going to convince me...

It was worse when I was working from home. 3 to 4 times a week. Gah.

The only company that calls me on my mobile is my internet/tv provider, who try to sell me pay-per-view. As I'm not interested in Football or Films (I can rent my own damn DVD's, thanks) it's usually over pretty quickly.

Yes I did. Of course I didn't* explain that I was renting a first floor apartment so A. I didn't own the place and B. it didn't technically have a roof. But that would've just got in the way of confusing the salesman.

*I've just noticed that for some reason my browser's spell check thinks that didn't isn't** a word...

**Apparently Isn't isn't one either...

I would guess you have fallen victim to the "US spelling virus".
It's a nasty little bugger that invades public systems and eats various ASCII characters. It is especially noted for removing the letter 'u' from many English words such as flavour, humour, colour, etc.; but it can be confused by careful use of an apostrophe in a sentence for example, "G'day mate, hev y'seen my kangaroo?"
The effects appear fairly harmless to hardware but can cause world wide confusion to any software requiring keyboard input as part of the functioning operation.
Attempts to remove this virus by English computer specialist have, to-date, been mostly unsuccessful.

It is also possible that, due to this post, a stream of dictionary salesmen will appear in your area and start knocking on your door.

I'm in the process of making one now... And then electrifying the doorbell buzzer.

Joc, I'd have thought the firearms idea would appeal to you. Or training your cats to attack salesmen - they attack you pretty well!