Ooh that's nasty.

Then again, he annoys me sooo much i kind of have a soft spot for The Hoff-kinda like Croc shoes....and I own 2 pairs of those.

1. I love my team in work. Even though I'm not leaving them they still got me a present!

2. Sometimes work barbeques are a load of cr&p. But you do get to learn the gossip that's passed you by.

3. Yes, I am still terrified that I'm not going to be able to do my new job.

4. Typing while drunk is still easier when you do it with your eyes closed

5. Something not so much learned, more remembered: Southern Comfort with diet seven up will really fu*k up your head.

6. My bosses feet really, really smell

Learned today:
- (reminder) families suck. In-law families even moreso.
- Scotland actually exists. As does the Isle of Mann. Unless it was just an optical illusion brought on by condensation on the plane window and delerium brought on by the altitude an' all that... If one day I get any real proof of his existence, I may actually start believing in Doors.
- Ireland is sunnier and warmer than the South of France.
- Some priests are just utterly great people that totally make up for the few arseholes who litter the outskirts of priesthood. A priest who can slip pro-linux propaganda and quotes from Asterix into a wedding ceremony has every atom of my respect.

Today we had a Hawaii-themed luncheon, and I learned that the Hawaiian language only has 5 vowels (i,a,o,u and e), as well as 7 consonants (p, h, m, n, k, l and w).

I thought of how many relatively common-place sounds are unreproduceable in Hawaiian and it blew my mind something fierce. Then I imagined a native Hawaiian trying to learn some consonant-overdosed language, such as Czech (where the word for "heart" is "srce"), and it blew whatever was left.

Or one of my favourite childhood clip's original name was "Krtek"... (The little Mole). Spell that, Hawaiians!

YouTube - The Mole & the swallow (krtek & vlastovka)

I never saw the clips, but I've read the Krtek books (translated into Russian) way back in the day!

Oh, and I tried spelling out people's names, as they would sound in Hawaiian... "Inna" pretty much stayed the same, but "Bradley" became "Papali", and "Yvonne" would probably be either "Iwona" or "Ipona" And Krtek would probably become "Kalakeka", since the "k" seems to be put to use any time there's a non-Hawaiian sound that needs replacing!

I learnt that deciding that you want to go to work with a hangover the next day, and working diligently to achieve that end, is a very bad idea.

Things learned this weekend:
- The 12th and 13th of July are bank holidays in Northern Ireland. It is therefore no use driving over and hour and a half to return a faulty printer to the shop you foolishly bought it from because that shop will be shut.
- Once you have found aforesaid shop is shut and decide to pop into the centre of Belfast, remember to remove blue Dublin sweatshirt before wandering into the middle of the Orange Walks.
- No matter how stupid it sounds, it IS possible to cut yourself with a banana.

I hate training. For anyone out there who has had to spend 3 weeks cooped up in a small room with no fresh air and very little to keep you occupied, I shouldn't have to explain why. For those that don't understand...just know that I'm crying on the inside from boredom. I could do this job with my eyes closed without going through 3 weeks of training. Sob.

geez, three weeks ! I usually like training because it's usually justg for a day and it makes a bit of a change, but 3 weeks, yikes !

It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been the one to write half the proceedures we're learning, and been consulted on about a quarter of the rest. And been one of the first people to learn how to use both of our current computer systems - the training the 6 of us got for that one was "Just go in and play around with it for a while and tell us what it will and won't do, and then teach the rest of the department." I also do testing and have been shadowing people doing my new job for the last 6 or so months...I'm going to shut up now because I could complain about this until the cows come home.

It's actually pretty intensive if you are new. I've spotted two of the three newbies on several different recruitment sites on our breaks. Somehow, I don't think they are going to stay...

Not matter how much stuff I scrawl in my notebook, it will never take up more than half an A4 page in word - not without cheating font sizes that is....WHY?!

I can actually eat an entire meal (barring soup) with chopsticks!




And Gypsy, hun, that's why font sizes were invented! And also big complicated words to replace easier ones.

Today, I discovered it's not safe to carry an unexploded cat downstairs just as some heavy handed idiot, in the shape of a meter reader, ignores the bell-push and tries to knock the door off its hinges. I spent over half an hour in front of a mirror repairing the damage where frightened pussy cat tried to claw and bite her way up my face and over my head and I still look like I've tried to shave with a cheese grater.
The cat, of course, is unharmed.
With any luck, it'll be months before the electric company discover the body!
I guess its just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If the current trend on this board remains constant you will soon be visited by an identical meter reader.