Who told you about that?? It was an accident!

No, surprisingly, I have never had to deal with dead bodies, although at school I really wanted to. But I soon realised that my "natural penchant" for biology was nothing more than a delusion. In other words, I sucked at it. I really did want to be a pathologist. I was the only one listening with wide eyed rapture to my teacher when she talked about human dissections.

But no. I'm jealous of *you* Grace. You and your job with the dead.

That would also be... CONDENSATION.

Grace, yes I have knitted a few jumpers. 9-11-01 I was in the middle of a blanket for Jon's and my niece and I didn't want to get it psychically contaminated by my feelings ( I don't know that that can happen but I didn't want to take chances) so I started my anti- terrorism sweater. It is calf length, button front, raglan sleeves and striped randomly in two colors of blue, four colors of burgundy, two types of rose, white and a couple different greys. It is knit one, purl one ribbing all over and took about the first two weeks being glued to CNN and Fox/News to finish. I was going from 9 to 9 or later knitting all day. I think it took at least 60 hours.

It was great therapy, having something to do with your hands can be a really good thing. I learned from a booklet and a little help from some people who knit back when I was a young'un and I never have regretted that I didn't actually finish the first vest I started. It would have been incredibly dorky even back in '72.

() ()
( ' ,') "don't eat green potatoes"
(> >) Last words of Mrs. Bertha Sperling
@( )_ )_

I'm a student, I have 10 weeks or so till I finish my undergraduate degree. It is a bachelor in science with a major in chemistry. I guess I have just kept doing my favourite class from highschool.

Currently I work weekend nights in a service-station and am employed by the uni as a tutor for the first year students.

Oversummer (in Australia) I'll be doing a summer project which will be mostly equipment training, which will lead into a honours project next year in colloid science. Basically I'll be doing a project in paint for dulux paints but I won't bore you with details.

My ideal job would be one where I get more sleep.

"Frangipanis on cars. AUSTRALIA SAYS NO."

I wasted my life up to this point, so I'm sadly emlpoyed in a call center, as an "energy specialist" for scottish power.

Basically, I have to be nice to morons and help solve their shit problems, and take all kinds of crap from them.

Please, bear in mind that should you ever call a call center, the person that answers the phone is just that.

Don't take your frustrations out on them.

Don't complain about the length of the queue, theres nothing they can do and you've just made their day a little bit crapper.

Don't call them "you people" as it's dismissive bullshit.

Don't think that you HAVE to be right, despite the trained person telling you otherwise.

Don't think that a manager will magically solve your problem.

Basically, don't be a wanker.

You wouldn't speak to people like that face to face, so don't do it over the phone.

I hate my job.

Why are pirates called pirates?

I'm a sound engineer. Most or the time now I'm a recording engineer, leaving touring and festival PA to those younger than myself, who appreciate the exercise (I need it more than them- but we wouldn't want to cheat them of it, would we?)
At school I would have been a "geek", if the term had existed back then, and heavily technical side maths, physics and such. I was so hopeless at languages we had to look for a university where they'd let me in without a foreign language. So what am I doing here in Geneva spending entire weeks without speaking any english? (cue music "smoke on the water" from Deep purple)
Back in 1972 I was working as a test engineer in Tannoy, in London, when someone offered me a months work- maybe six weeks- in Switzerland preparingthe aaudio system for the Montreux jazz festival, as someone had burnt down the casino where the concertswere generally held. And off I set, arriving in Switzerland with no french, even less schwyzerteuch (the strangeform of german which is the countries major language) and no intention of staying. Doesn't time pass fast when you're enjoying yourself (after all, I couldn't enjoy anyone else, could I?) Three recording studios, several major rock tours and no few music festivals later I speak french, and going to England feels strange.
Funny old thing, life, innit?

Going into my 3rd year of 4 in college. College life is great craic, won't really be looking forward to entering the world of full-time work.

Hoping to get a job in the civil service when I get my degree

I'm a chemical analyst working for a pharmaceutical company. I test things to make sure they contain what they're meant to before they get sent out. I did similar work for an agrichemicals company before this for nine years, working early, late and night shifts; I think my body has just about recovered from this. My first job out of uni was food testing for safeways - left me extremely cautious of tinned mushrooms.

I worked in a couple of hospital labs during work placements at uni but prefered my stint the the Horseracing Forensic Lab in Newmarket. Dope testing, lots of horses around and the chance for a free trip to the races. It also meant I didn't have to do jury service for 10 years afterwords.

My first ever job was as a shoe fitter in a childrens shoe at weekends and holidays - having to deal with the back to school rush and persuading parents that proper shoes aren't a good idea until their child can actually walk properly. I can still check the fit of a pair of shoes.

I am an...um... animator , although the more accurate term would be a multimedia artist and an overall hack. I can do a bit of 3D modeling, a bit of animating, some Flash etc. (no programming - dont' ask me to do programming, it has fried my brain beyond recognition during the 2 college courses that I took). Right now I'm with a company that makes educational shows for planetariums, so up until recently, my job was to create/animate various environment shots like ships flying through space, wormholes opening, planets spinning etc. (I've also made at least ONE fjord for the icy moon Europa, and it was a damn good one, so now I feel like Slartibarfast!)

Then a few months ago, one of our character animators went on extended sick leave, so I was allowed to try character animation. It's HARD :-)! If you screw up a fjord on Europa, at least it's not obvious - very few people have actually been there, as far as I know :p . Ditto with spaceships and wormholes - there's a certain level of permitted suckiness. But everyone knows how a human moves, and it's PAINFULLY obvious when they move badly. It took me all this time just to get our poor character (a lost alien girl looking for her family) to stop moving like Quasimodo with a wedgie.

My other jobs:

- sandwich maker and general cleaner-upper at a deli

- hostess at a restored 18th century tavern. Myself and a few other guides would dress up in colonial garb and tell anecdotes what life used to be like for an everage family in 1730s. One of my favorite lines was: "The women kept their hair hidden under bonnets; if a woman were to start losing her hair, due to old age or illness, she could always stuff her bonnett with whatever was at hand, to make it look like she still had a full head of hair. The men, on the other hand, were known to stuff other things. Any guesses as to what?"

(No, it wasn't THAT)

- telemarketer. Left the day they were going to fire me.

- Assistant tech and general gaffer-tape monkey for the audio/video department at Drexel University. Much exposure to interesting music and new swearwords. Oh, and BradtheWonderLlama got to teach me about different cables!

- English writing tutor. Kinda ironic, since I often speak like Yoda.

- cashier/book sorter at the Borders bookstore. Probably the best shitjob I've ever had. Books everywhere, and most of my coworkers were either professors, or artists, or psychologists!

My dreamjob would be to help create special effects for a Discworld movie. Or work full-time in a theater. Or write by nights and do something menial by day, so as not to forget what the real world looks like.

Friends don't let friends take up scrapbooking!

I went to college and studied film/television, but couldn't get my act together to get a job doing that. -It sounded like fun, but it really was work.
I installed telephones for trade shows for many years. No end of free pens and notepads!

Also worked in property management, shi(f)twork for 5 years. Highlights include being the voice that evacuates a 4 stars hotel at 2 in the morning!

Eventually I went back to school and studied electronics manufacturing. Now I am working as a technician fixing the machines that make Blackberrys. And I just found out that I got a promotion to a Process Engineering position.
That has kinda been my dream job since I went back to school. So I'm wickedly happy about it. 8)
It also means a lot less time lurking about message boards...
:cry:

I am currently a full-time mum, or "homemaker" as they say on the questionaires, scrounging off my partner and the state. I am qualified to be a book-keeper, so I may one day do that, and I am working on becoming a qualified music teacher, so I may one day do that.

I would really like to be a professional theatre singer/actress, preferably in London's West End, before retiring to the country to continue being a scrounger.

Previously, I have dabbled in the following:

- Shop assistant in BHS (frumpy department store, minimum wage)

- Shop assistant in QS (cut-price clothing store, surprisingly good job)

- Waitress in The Cult Cafe (Greasy spoon affiliated with a tattoo parlour, frequented by the town's writers and musicians - very cool, until the crappy wages and various other factors took their toll)

- Trainee accountant at the same accounting practice as Grace (Stayed long enough to get a free qualification, then escaped)

- Accountant at Osborne Energy Ltd - Managing agents for energy efficiency projects. I had to spend all day negotiating with Doors's colleagues! (Earned vast sums of money, managed to save for the first time in my life, then got pregnant and escaped)

- Teaching piano - for a very short period, owing to aforementioned pregnancy

I am currently a new student at the local community college. I start Monday but my first class isn't till 2:30 so at least I get to sleep in. I'm working on an Associates Degree in Science and after that maybe I'll transfer to State University or maybe not, I still have 2 years to decide. I work in the library on campus, it's my first job and my first day is Tuesday. My ideal job would be running my own bookstore or something geology/archaeology.

Other jobs I have done:

1. Marketing research - fruit of the devil and got out when I found that jury duty was heaven in comparison
2. Receptionist - OK but a bit mind numbing
3. Scanner - scanning documents into a digital format is possibly the most boring job in the world - but did give me a chance to see some pretty outrageously funny names eg The Duc Phu
4. Waitress - need I say more? Did my back in.
5. Shop assistant - My first job at 14yo $5/hour for 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon, yay!

Somehow I have managed to avoid all the really interesting jobs while piss farting around to this point in time where I have a real job (sort of) but I'm still in denial about being an adult...

PhD Student: Research information sheet

There once was a man named Bruce
Who liked to sit on a spruce
He ate lots of chowder
And yelled at me louder:
"I'm talking to YOU, Mrs. Hughes!"
--> The Literary Genius: Mowgli