I would just like to say that Alzheimers is one of the worst, most despicable diseases in existance. Cancer is bad, so is MS, heart disease, Aids, they are all so, so bad...even Diabetes which is slowly robbing me of my father, eye by eye, kidney by kidney doesn't rate as high on my hate list as Alzheimers. Because it is rare that those other diseases take the best things from a person and leave an empty shell that stares at you blankly, or makes a woman who 5 years ago adored her daughter and worshiped the ground she walked upon, pick up a knife and tell her she would stab her if she came any closer.

At 64, my aunt, my lively, vivacious, ass-kicking aunt, who could speak volumes about her thoughts with just a lift of an eyebrow or a twinkle of the eye, is now reduced to a ghost of a woman who has to be locked into her bedroom at night in case she goes at the gas or leaves the house. Last week, she ran out of the house into her neighbours, demanding they called the police because there was a strange man in her room. It was my uncle. My cousin's 3 year old daughter proudly proclaims that she helps Nana get dressed. And the woman who was one of the most sought after confectioners in the city at the height of her ability, who could draw the most perfect sketch of something she'd only seen once; the woman whose reproduction of a cathederal in cake was brought around Europe in the 80's, is reduced to sitting in a corner with a colouring book, following the lines with a pen. She can't even colour in now. In a room filled with family today for my nephew's 1st birthday, she could identify one person; my dad. She looked confused and afraid at times, and at others would just stare blankly at a cup of tea as if she didn't know what to do with it.

I hate this disease.

I hate it.

I miss my auntie and god damn it I want her back