[b:e64d03e34e]unspeakable culinary act #345: gerbil casserole.[/b:e64d03e34e]

'Look 'ere, girlie, I en't gonna hurt ye. Jus' gimme the rat. Givit 'ere, quick now, befores I gits angry.'

'I will not give her to you. And she's not a rat.'

The knife came out and spun gracefully around in the air before thudding, startling me, next to my baby toe, the blade so shudderingly close that my toe could kiss it. I froze.

'Whut loverly toes yez got, girlie. I'll let ye keep 'em if ye jus' 'and that thing 'ere, sensible like.'

Blue continued to shiver in my hands, and now goosebumps were accumulating on my arms. I held Ivan's eyes, fighting the repulsion their gooey wet whiteness created. My toe slid gently against the flat slick side of the knife. Blue crawled up my arm and under my sleeve. His knife was in my hand shortly. He reached out for the gerbil, to pluck her from my clothes and I cringed and struck, hesitant but with panicked force.

The blade did catch on his flesh, but it sank through. It went straight down and came out the other side, as if his arm were nothing but a cylindrical blob of molasses.

Ivan growled. I stared. If I....Could ... I don't think I... but the knife is real enough, right?....gosh... I used the weapon to poke at his ugly zombie-ghost skin. It went in smoothly and came back out with just the slightest resistance. What if...but... oh ew. ew! He had grabbed my wrist and twisted the knife out of my hand. His skin felt as slimy and gross as it looked. And it was cold. The pirate shoved me into the wall and growled some more, cursing unintelligibly, gripping my arm tighter.

I screamed then. Blue the gerbil was curled and frightened, hiding in my collar beneath my hair. Her tiny claws pricked into my skin. Ivan's breath was putrid and frozen.

Screaming didn't work. No one came. Struggling presented itself as my next option. I kicked at him but my feet just went through his semi-solid shins. I tried to push him away but this only half worked. His grip around my wrist was too sticky and strong.

So begging was next. 'Please, let go. Ow. Let go of me, stop it, stop it, I didn't mean to...grr...Ow. Ow. Please! Please, let me go!'

'Yer en't gonna cry, is ye?' he taunted. 'I do 'ate ter see a girlie cry.'

And with that I was free to blink away my few slithery tears and rub the feeling back into my hand. Blue still sat crouched in a warm fuzzy spot between my neck and my hair. I wasted no time in climbing across Trollmother's bed and out the door. I raced through the corridors below deck until I reached the sunny morning outside. I was headed for Malory's office but I collided with Moon Cat Blue before I got there.

'I--I--I--' I spluttered. 'There---He---'

'Woah, woah, Plaid.' She took my shoulders and held me still. Her eyes were blue, I noticed. Moon Cat Blue. What pretty golden hair. 'Plaid, what's wrong?'

'Ivan. He said his name was Ivan...the Terrible. And he tried to take Blue, and I wouldn't let him and he...' I rubbed my arm where the feeling of slimy, filthy ice still clung to my skin. 'He grabbed my arm and it hurt. And I...He was a zombie. Half a zombie...or something. He was hiding under Trollmother's bed!'

Moon Cat's understanding nod was very calming. 'Are you alright, though? Who's Blue?'

Blue. Where had she got to now? I didn't feel her in my collar. I ruffled my shirt and inspected the pockets of my trousers. she can't have gotten away... oh no... Oh good.

'Blue, why are you hiding down there?' She'd gnawing on my belt loop casually, as if nothing had happened. 'Yeah, we're alright,' I said to Moon Cat. 'This is Blue. A gerbil. Not a rat.'

'Oh. Well, come with me.'

I followed the blonde across the deck. I was feeling a lot better, until Moon Cat continued, 'And I thought we'd be able to trust you. A course, Trollmother shouldn't 'ave left you alone there, especially not with that r--gerbil gettin' into things. The Captain is gonna be in a tif about this. Ivan never fails to git on his nerves. Here, come on.'

I was confused. She'd led me into a large room which was divided down the center with thick metal bars. Among the dozen or so prisoners inside I saw Hermes standing on the far side, his back to us, his face pressed against the porthole, watching the water.

As Moon Cat opened the cell with her ring of keys he turned around.

'Maria!' he shouted with a grin. Moon Cat took me by the arm and manouvered me into the cell. I looked at her. She locked us in again, and my eyes searched her face.

'Stay 'ere Plaid. Ye'll be safe. It may be the Captain needs you a bit more and in that case I'll get you fetched back for 'im. There ought to be pie later on, but if not someone'll bring food.'

She left with a slight smile. I clutched Blue and felt lonely.

'Maria, I was wondering where they'd put you.'

'Its Plaid, Hermes. Harry. Whatever. Just call me Plaid.' I sat down in the corner and put a lid on my mental saucepan full of writhing thoughts. Hermes continuted to chatter but I didn't listen to him, or to any of the other prisoners. I stared, stroking Blue. Hermes asked about her but I glared at him so blackly he backed off. I tried to think about nothing, but the pot boiled over.

What if there wasn't pie? But there always had been pie. Twice a day. Like clockwork. Please Ba...wait, who am I praying to anyway? Ba Witda. God of Pie. Please don't let there not be pie.

'Blue,' I whispered. 'We want to get back to the island, don't we?' I held her furry little face up to mine and looked at her. 'And eat our pie on the firm ground and forget all about socks and pirates.' Blue twitched and nibbled my thumb. 'Nasty, ugly pirates.'

Moon Cat Blue wasn't ugly. Chris Jordan wasn't that ugly either. And Malory...what was it about his ear? I wondered if I'd ever see it or if he'd keep that hat on forever.

What would I say to Brad? He was going to wonder what I'd found out. What had I found out? Well, Captain Malory had turned Brad into a llama. How had he done that? And Brad would have known that already anyway.

I'd just have to wait. Brad couldn't blame me for trying. It wasn't my fault Maljonic knew. Someone had told him. Who?

I let Blue crawl around on my lap for a while. What had the words said to me? If they meant so much to Maljonic... All I could remember was control....control, and dates. Dates. Some of it dates. Some of what?

Control. I looked at Hermes, his nose up against the window, his breath pasted like filmy wallpaper on the glass.

Total control, wasn't it? Total control. but of what? Of me.

I sighed. Not only was I stuck on the Catface, I was now stuck in a prison cell with a dozen sweaty, grimy men. Some of them were wounded, I noticed when I looked closer. I recognized them from the night I'd helped Trollmother, the night they'd attacked that ship. I wondered what had happened to that ship.

'Blue...come back here...' I snatched her back onto my lap. Hermes turned.

'What is that thing? Can I hold it?'

I held the gerbil protectively. 'She's a gerbil. No, don't touch her. Leave me alone.'

Hermes sat down and joined me as I stared into space. I couldn't be bothered to shift further away from the paint covered guy. I couldn't be bothered to even notice that most of the paint had peeled off his fingers and elbows. I couldn't be bothered to do more than stare into space and strain to evesdrop on the cluster of bulky pirates on the other side of the cell.

I knew I would just have to wait until the Catface returned to the island. I didn't like it, but there was no way to do anything about it. Waiting was boring. I put Blue in my pocket, gently, and decided to pace.

Almost eleven paces wide, the cell was. Hermes watched with a puzzled look on his face. I paced back and forth four times, feigning interest in the floorboards.

Tony Black stepped in, rudely interrupting my pacing, and I very nearly snapped and went at him for all I was worth. It was his bloody scar and his ragged moustache and mostly his bulk that deterred my wrath. I glared up at him indignantly.

'Get out of my way.'

'You,' he growled, 'stay on yer own side er the cell!'

I just stood there. Why was Tony Black in a prison cell? What had he done? I guess he was wounded, but still...why imprisoned? 'Why are you here, Black?'

'Mind yer own bisness. Ifn we wants ter talk to ye, we'll let yer know. Now stay on yer own side!'

'I was just curious, geez,' I said, pacing back to my corner.

He tried to console me by saying they'd been even meaner to him. 'Look, look at my arm. They twisted it here. Its all red, you can see it even under this stripey stuff. It still hurts.'

I would probably always regret being so unfriendly to Hermes. Especially this Hermes, who had been brave enough to take amnesia upon himself for the sake of what had so far turned out to be the most pointless spying mission ever. I sat down again next to him and tried to look interested and sympathetic as he continued to babble about his peeling paint and how much he liked his hat.

'That guy over there won't give it back though. He took it, and he's not even wearing it, its just tied on his belt. Can you get it back Maria?'

'Plaid. Not Maria. And you're Hermes. Well, unless you like being called Peg-leg Harry. Do you?'

'Peg-leg Harry. I don't know. Could I get a peg leg, do you think? It might be fun if I really had a peg leg, to be called Peg-leg Harry.'

I laughed at him. He didn't know what he was saying. I considered telling him about Brad and the island.

'You don't remember Brad, do you?'

'Who?'

'Do you remember anything?'

'No, you know I don't. And you don't either.'

A slippery and burning cold guilt tickled my heart. 'I lied about that.' My eyes dropped to the floor. The truth was easier, I decided. After the mess lying to Maljonic had caused, I didn't feel up to continuing in pretense.

'So ...'

'Don't-- I had to. I-- Really, I don't know much more than you. It's all Brad's fault,' I glanced at him, not knowing how to explain everything. It didn't make sense. Not even what Maljonic had shown me. I remembered Fred. I wished I could ask him. Moon Cat Blue had said...

'Wait. I'm...Hermes?'

I took a deep breath. 'Brad named you Hermes, I guess. You came to the island before I did. You and Brad were the first ones I met.'

'There are others? Not pirates?'

'Lots of them. They live underground, on the island. The pirates ...' I stopped before I got into the Sock Wars. I didn't know what they were all about yet. 'Well,' I went on, 'we're stuck with the pirates for now.'

Hermes looked confused. 'Why?'

Hm. I'd have to get into the sock wars to answer that one. And from what I knew about Hermes, he'd keep asking Why for who knew how long. I didn't have that many answers.

'Brad sent us. To spy on Malory. It's complicated. I'm not really sure myse...' I stopped talking and Hermes and I looked up into the faces of a few curious pirates who had crowded around us.

'Brad sent you?' Tony Black spoke first. They were all looking at Hermes. 'Both of you?'

I stood up and looked back at them.

'Yes.' I guess they'd thought Hermes was just another prisoner. Until now.

'There's talk ye's seen Fred.'

Was that an accusation, or what? I didn't know what to say in response. Hermes interrupted and asked, 'Fred? Who's Fred?'

The curious looks had turned a bit suspicious. One of them, I didn't recognize him, put a hand on Tony Black's shoulder. 'Don't, Black...' he said.

'Elrond, ifn they might talk, we kin always cut their tongues out. 'Sides. She looks like we kin trust 'er, meybe. And 'e's too stupid to betray us. Fred could eat 'im alive if 'e tried it.'

'How do you know about Fred?'

'Ah.' The pirates looked at each other.

'Well?' I was the one asking questions now.

'Have you seen him?' another pirate asked, from behind Black.

'Who wants to know? Are you going to tell me what's going on? How do you know about Fred?'

'Come 'ere.' Both of ye.'

They cleared a space for Hermes and I to join the rest of the pirates on the other side of the cell. It was darker there, away from the portholes.

'Sit down.' Only Black remained standing. He leaned against the wall and waited for silence.

'Plaid, first ye's got ter swear ye won't let nothin' we say go back ter the Captain. 'e don't know 'bout Fred. An' 'e wouldn' like it if 'e 'eard, either.'

I looked around. I decided to swear.

'Yer friend too, make 'im swear.'

'Hermes? Trust them. Fred...You used to know Fred. Go on, swear.'

He did so. Tony Black joined the rest of us on the floor and rolled back his sleeve. It was above his elbow, slightly grimy, but clear. An elephant tatooed in white.

'If ye's seen Fred,' Black said, 'ye know what that is.'

I looked at him. 'It's an elephant. There are probably--' I paused and my eyes shifted under the hot scrutiny of the rest of those pirates, 'lots of elephants like that.'

'No elephant,' somebody said, 'is like Fred.'

'Okay. What is this about? You've got an elephant tatooed on your arm. So?'

I felt the pirates bristle angrily. There was a long silence.

'Tell me,' I said.

'Listen,' Black said, 'we need to know somethin'. Fer twenty years sum of us've been waitin', keepin' quiet, jus' waitin', and we need to know if it en't all been fer nothin'. Is 'e real? 'Ave ye seen 'im?'

'Fred?' I asked. They all nodded eagerly, murmuring in anticipation. 'Yeah, I've seen him. He's Orrdos's elephant.'

The silence this time was as tense as before, only happier. Excited whispers sprang through it, poking lots of tiny holes in the quiet, expressing an amazement I'd never seen before. Some of them were even kissing each others' elephant tatoos. I looked at Hermes.

'Who's Fred?' he asked again.

'A really, really weird elephant. Just wait til we get back to the island. You'll see.'

'Is it true? Is it true he is as big as the Garner?'

'They tol' me 'e could spit fire, can 'e? can 'e?'

'What about Charlotte? Ye seen 'er? What's she look like?'

'What?' I was being thrown questions one after the other.

''ow big is 'is tatoo? The bananner one? 'S it 's big 's me 'and? 'S big 's me foot? 'S big 's yer foot?'

'Did 'e talk ter ye? Did 'e?'

I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the pressing faces and their questions. 'I don't know!' I shouted. 'I only saw him once! I don't know. Stop!' I stood up as Tony Black also yelled for silence. The group went still.

'Plaid, ye got ter understand. We's been waitin' fer Fred fer a long time.'

'Waiting for him to do what? He's just an...an elephant.'

Black's face fell.

'Well...' I grew nervous. 'Not just an elephant. He's a...well, I... I don't know.'

'They's told us Fred will give us arr memories back. They told us...'

'How?' I gasped. Orrdos hadn't mentioned this. No one had mentioned this. 'Who told you?'

''s been handed down fer years, to us chosen ones. The mark chose us.'

The pirate who said this was hunched over and old. He'd been hurt badly the other night, I remembered. His arm was in a sling and his jaw looked swollen.

'Those elephant tatoos?'

He nodded. 'Not tatoos. More like...birthmarks.'

'And you think Fred, the elephant on the island, is going to...give you back your memories?'

He nodded again.

'Where did you get that idea?'

He shook his head. 'I can't answer that question. All we knows is that we believe in Fred. We've been waiting for 'im. Tell us, can 'e tell us who we was? before?'

'I--I--' I looked helpless. I had no answers. Fred had spoken to Orrdos, but I hadn't heard one word of it. Fred had looked at me and I had been frightened. Well, nervous at least. But I didn't know what it meant, if it meant anything.