Discworld and Member Articles
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Written by maljonic
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Sunday, 17 July 2005 |
The early morning darkness perceptibly increased, the air went a little dry and there was a feeling within Maljonic’s soul like the canvass of a large masterpiece being torn apart by robbing hands; time was put on hold as the Test appeared below Napoleon’s commission in front of Mister Pratchett, who didn’t seem at all impressed by his preternatural entrance.
The Test was an impressive creature with the power of a genie, the cunning of a devil, the countenance of a male Hollywood movie star and the stature of a garden gnome. Terry asked the Test for news with a simple sideways tilt of his head.
“O Master,” boomed the Test, “the one named Rincewind has escaped the Discworld and come to Earth.”
“What, that bumbling wizard?” Replied Mister Pratchett. “Impossible!”
“O Master,” bellowed the Test, “I mean the Earthling who calls himself Rincewind”
“What! That bumbling spoonophile?” replied he, “Impossible! How could this be?”
“O Master,” the Test replied, his voice resounding off the monument and along the Senne valley, “the one named Maljonic showed him how we use the arches.”
“Oh, I see,” Terry mused for a moment, “So where is this Rincewind now? Which arch did he use?”
“O Master,” rumbled the Test, “the one going by the name Rincewind is somewhere in London, England, he used the arch of marbles.”
“You mean Marble Arch,” Terry corrected the foolish little creature, then a thought occurred to him… “Wait a minute! If Maljonic knows how to use the arches why didn’t he come back to Earth too? Or have you left something out of your report?”
“O Master,” boomed the Test, “the one named Maljonic has escaped the Discworld and returned to Earth.”
“Sometimes, O Test, you are impossible!” Replied Mister Pratchett impatiently. “Where is he now, can we send him back?”
“O Master, Alas! He is here in Paris, he used the monumental arch the same as we two, we must first capture him before we may send him back.”
“Here, in Paris?” Terry Pratchett was a little surprised, “How do you know he isn’t watching us right now, hearing everything we say?”
“O Master,” returned the Test, a little less genie-like than usual, “Erm, he is listening to us right now, and watching us from yonder tower.”
“Test, you idiot; now he knows his friend escaped too,” Mister Pratchett was almost annoyed. “Take me to the Eiffel Tower at once!”
The Test ran around his master, causing a miniature tornado, until the both of them disappeared and reappeared atop the famous Paris landmark, looking back at the distant Arc de Triomphe - just in time to see the magical sparks that were the after effects of Maljonic using the monument as a teleporter. Now Mister Pratchett was annoyed.
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